'30 Rock' wedding: Liz Lemon is a princess bride on 'Mazel Tov, Dummies!'
To think, it all started with Dennis Duffy ( Dean Winters), Liz's obnoxious ex. After another failed attempt at getting pregnant, Liz and Criss were consoling themselves with disco fries when they ran into the former Beeper King -- and his adopted son, "Black Dennis."
Yep, although Liz has been on an adoption waiting list for years, her moronic ex had no trouble adopting an African-American boy -- just because he's married.
"We might as well get married like every other idiot," Liz and Criss decide. And blammo! They're engaged, "Top Gun-style."
While Jack Donaghy ( Alec Baldwin) offers up Tony Bennett to sing at their wedding, Liz protests (too much?) that their City Hall nuptials are just a formality.
"I reject the wedding industry's phallocentric fairy-tale grotesquery!" she declares, citing Bravo's "Wedding B****es" as an example.
But Jack knows that in Liz Lemon's fervent feminist heart, she really does want to be a princess for a day. And her groom knows it too: Pretending to forget his birth certificate, Criss rounds up the Duffys to serve as their witnesses -- not many other people are available on a Wednesday afternoon -- and Liz finally melts.
In short order, Criss has a suit and the requisite bling. Really, why buy traditional wedding bands when he could pick up a grill and the aforementioned knuckle ring at a City Hall police auction? Liz ransacks her closet and finds the perfect white gown. Since it happens to be a Princess Leia costume, she styles her hair accordingly.
After Jack does a reading (from "The Fountainhead") and Tony Bennett serenades the couple, Liz Lemon and her "Marzipan Candy Man" are pronounced husband and wife.
To quote Dennis: "Mazel tov, dummies!"