'American Horror Story: Coven' episode 3 'The Replacements': Ready to be freaked out?

american-horror-story-coven-patti-lupone-denis-ohare.jpgWe've said through the first two episodes that "American Horror Story: Coven" has really been that scary so far. That all changed with "The Replacements," though not in a way we were expecting.

Fiona Goode and the Supremes

A flashback to 1971 reveals that Fiona figured out she was the next Supreme and decided to dispense with the current Supreme post haste, slitting her throat as they stood in the house in New Orleans.

Back in present day, Madison starts exhibiting signs of possessing more than one power, which is how a Supreme manifests herself -- she can producer the as of yet unnamed "seven wonders." Fiona immediately thinks Madison is the new Supreme and that, coupled with her new cancer diagnosis, has her sweating the newbie's rise to power, which literally sucks the life force right out of her.

So good ol' Fiona tests Madison a bit, gets her to trust her, gets her drunk and then kills her right in the spot where she killed the former Supreme. -- "Bury her deep. God knows what all that s*** in her body will do to the lawn when it comes up in the spring. This coven doesn't need a new Surpreme, it needs a new rug."

Fiona is awesome. And we can't say we're shedding any tears over Madison's untimely demise.

Frankenstein's House of Horrors


Zoe, meanwhile, retrieves her Frankenstein monster from Misty's swamp shack. Poor Misty wants them to stay -- she's so lonely, but still rocking the Stevie Nicks. This time it's "Sara," for those of you keeping score at home.

But Zoe takes Kyle back to his mother's house, having met her and thinking this will help his mother (who was on the verge of killing herself from grief when Zoe called her). Except in what might be the most disturbing thing this show's ever done (definitely right up there), Kyle's mom Alicia has been sexually active with her son.

The look on Kyle's face when his mother started to pleasure him was so, so scary in a sickening way. Honestly, thank goodness he snaps and beats her to death. She really kinda had that coming.

Of course, what will Zoe do with her new pet now?

Queenie Grabs the Bull by the Horns


Fiona makes Madame LaLaurie the personal servant of Queenie, since Madame LaLaurie is a raging racist. It's all fairly amusing until the minotaur rears his ugly head and while Delphine goes to hide, Queenie leads him into the greenhouse, starts pleasuring herself in front of him and then ... it would seem he takes her from behind. OH. MY. GOD.

Thoughts & Tidbits

  • Patti Lupone has shown up on "AHS: Coven." She's the new neighbor, a churchy woman with a very attractive son. Fiona basically tells her to take her Bible and shove it.
  • Cordelia is looking for another fertility answer, since her doctor says she can't conceive (something in the blood work). She seeks out Marie Laveau and a ritual involving semen and a goat sacrifice, but Laveau laughs her out of her salon, saying she would never help the daughter of Fiona.
  • Best Line: "Stevie didn't really find her voice until she and Lindsey joined Fleetwood Mac. That's the thing -- you can't be your best self until you find your tribe. I'm still lookin' for mine." -- Misty.
  • Delphine's reaction to President Obama was pretty hilarious.

We are still absolutely fascinated by Misty. Hopefully Lily Rabe gets to come out of the swamp soon. She's our pick for the Supreme, by the way.

What did you think of "The Replacements"?

Photo/Video credit: FX
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