'Bachelorette' recap: One Ring to Fool Them All

emily-maynard-bachelorette-bachelors-abc.jpgThings I could have done today instead of spending three hours watching The Bachelorette: Marathon Finale: Run my town's longstanding ten-mile race. Watched the entire first season of Frisky Dingo. Slept. Read a couple of Hardy Boys books. Fixed the pocket door in the kitchen that's not working right.

Anyway, you get the idea.

Harrison welcomes Emily to the stage as the audience cheers, maybe because they hope to feel actual love for real people someday. Harrison tells her she looks great. She's wearing much less eye makeup, it's true. He tells her she looks "in love." And she says she is, and then she cheers the crowd cheering her.

Harrison asks her about what it is about "Jef" that she loves. HILARIOUSLY, Emily says she could talk all about his great qualities, but instead it's about he makes her feel, which is the most important thing. She's going to say a lot of amusing things, like the ring could have been a piece of tape around her finger, for all she cares.

Harrison brings up Arie, and Emily acknowledges that she could stand to be more direct, but she really did fall in love with Arie, and she says that like it matters. Hopefully enough time has passed for Emily to forgive Arie for making her feel bad for dumping him.

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