'Big Brother 11': Expect the expected

jeff_bigbrother11_290.jpgThe problem with live eviction shows on " Big Brother 11" is that they rarely feature any real surprises, and therefore the live voting component of the show seems like kind of a waste. Unfortunately, this week is no different.

When we first see the houseguests, everyone is dressed prepared for an physical HoH competition...and Russell is in a very handsome suit. Do you think he already knows his fate? Ha. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Julie kicks it back to the house post-veto, as per usual. Kevin, of course, is ecstatic that Jeff was dumb enough to do their dirty work for them and keep him and Natalie in the game. Natalie neatly outlines that her and Kevin just pulled a really fast one on Jeff and that they're now two against two in the next HoH competition, and have every intention of putting Jeff up if they winj. And this is why Jeff is dumb, because he never even considered this possibility.

After the ceremony, Russell inevitably gets mad and yells. A lot. In Russell's defense, however, Jeff pretty much starts it and won't let it go. (Sidebar: Jeff thinks Russell broke their final four deal by having a final two deal with Michele? Um, Jeff? Don't you totally have a final two deal with Jordan? Shut it, pretty boy.) Later, Russell comes to his senses and approaches Kevin about switching over to his side and getting Natalie out of the house, with the ultimate goal of getting Jeff out next week. Kevin seems receptive, but I'm skeptical that he would have the guts to go through with it. Later again, Russell and Jordan get into it and he calls Jordan fat. Repeatedly. Shut up, Russell. No, seriously. SHUT. UP. RUSSELL.

We've officially reached that point in the season: I hate all of these people.

It's Jury House time! My favorite time of all! And...y'all. Jessie is wearing pink spandex capri pants with stars on them. What is wrong with him? Lydia enters the house, and we all expect fire and vengeance like she promised, right? Well, if fire and vengeance mean smiles, hugs and girly punching, then that's exactly what we get! How disappointing, but not surprising at all.

During the nominees' final plea speeches, Natalie announces that everyone told her she was staying and thanks them in advance for their loyalty. I'm sure the producers loved that! Russell then tells them he tried to take his game plan from some of the "greats" like Evil Dick, Dr. Will and Boogie. I have some quibbles with this line of thinking. First of all, the only great person there is Dr. Will. Second, Russell didn't play like ANY of those people. The only thing he had in common with any of them was a propensity for yelling like ED. Whatevs, Russ.

Unsurprisingly, Russell is evicted 3-0. Russell leaves in really classy manner and is fairly articulate in his exit interview with Julie. It's a shame he isn't like that all of the time because this Russell is pretty charming. He even admits that Jeff made a smart move by getting him out of the house. Why can't people be calm and rational while inside those BB walls? Do they pump something into the air in there? Maybe they put it in the slop.

Now, it's time for HoH! This week it's called "The S'More the Merrier," because BB loves nothing more than a themed competition with a horribly punny name. The goal is to transfer hot chocolate into a container until they can float a marshmallow, or something like that. I don't know if you've noticed, but I never pay attention to the rules of these competitions. Life's too short. Right away, Kevin totally bites it off camera, earning a big laugh from spectator Jeff. I wish we could've seen that!  Julie sadistically informs them that they will have to travel over four miles on that slippery surface in order to transfer enough liquid to float the marshmallow high enough to retrieve it. Who do you guys think will take it? My money is on Kevin or Michelle.

Favorite quotes:
  • "Let the weirdness begin." - Jeff, after adjourning the veto ceremony
  • "You got GOT!" - Jeff, to Russell
  • "Well I'm happy because I get a week with you." - Lydia to Jessie, in the jury house
  • "I'd be happy if I was you, too." - Jessie, in return
  • "I strongly, strongly dislike you with a passion." - Jordan, in her goodbye message to Russell

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So, once again, the HoH will be decided after the show goes off the air. Please, you guys, can we keep this thread spoiler free? I don't want to have to close the comments again. Thank you!


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