'Big Brother 11': The never-ending HoH competition

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" Big Brother 11" last left us hanging over who would win part one of the all-important final HoH. Who managed to coast their way into round three?

It's another live show and another insane jewelry selection from our favorite robot reality host. Seriously, Julie. Bigger necklaces won't distract us from your very pregnant belly. Embrace the bump.

The big surprise for tonight? For the first time ever, all three of the remaining finalists will make it to finale night. Say what? I have to assume only two will actually make it to the jury vote, because otherwise that would be some bull. They're only doing this to keep Jordan in the house so the entire show won't be taken over by grumpy Natalie in the important last episodes.

After Julie drops this bomb on us, we head back to the HoH competition where we left it on Tuesday. While they are hanging in there, Natalie tries to throw Jordan off her game by defaming Michele and then telling Jordan Michele will be happy to get her hands on Jeff in the jury house. Shut up, Gnatalie. At one point, Natalie falls completely off the log but manages to hang on to the key and pull herself back up. Darn! (Can you tell I'm kind of not rooting for Natalie, here?) Kevin manages to trick Jordan into losing her concentration, and she falls. Natalie and Kevin comment on how perfectly everything is going for them. Yeah, we've noticed. Kevin gives me a LOT of hope when he diary rooms that he is lying to Natalie about taking her to the final two in order to get her to drop. Kevin winning final HoH and booting Natalie would be the most satisfying game play decision of the season. Do it, Kevin! Do it! Natalie finally gives in and takes a dive for Kevin to win part one. Yay? Yes, I've decided. Yay!

Julie finally breaks down what is happening with the HoH competition: part three doesn't happen until finale night next Tuesday! After the HoH is crowned and boots the final person to the jury, they immediately go to the final questioning. I kind of like this, but we'll see how it pans out. Considering the finale is two hours, they needed to fill the time somehow.

And now it's time to watch Jeff slink into the jury house! Russell, of course, is frothing at the mouth to see Jeff. He and Jessie physically rejoice when Jeff walks in, which is pretty amusing. Next, we learn that the jury members really have turned on Natalie. Especially interesting is how they all comment on Natalie's lack of winning competitions. Hmm. Jeff proves he still can't read the house when he predicts that Kevin will follow him into the jury house next week. Oh, Jeff. So pretty. So dumb. I guess I can't fault him for figuring that Natalie wouldn't win the HoH competition, though.

Next is a part I am sort of refusing to fully recap out of principle. Evil Dick, Danielle (from BB3), Mike Boogie and Janelle come back to take up airtime and talk about the current season. I refuse to write about anything ED says. I despise him. Danielle picks Natalie has playing the best game, Janelle picks Jeff booting Russell as the worst move so far, Boogie picks Jeff using the Coup D'Etat as a best movie and the Natalie/Kevin lie to get Jeff to boot Russell as another best move. All but Danielle pick Kevin as the eventual winner, and Danielle soapboxes a bit on how a woman can't ever beat a man in the final two of the game. Well, that was some filler, huh?

The second part of the HoH competition is played one at a time, with Natalie going first. The goal is to put the HoH winners in order, Skee Ball style, by rolling a ball uphill into the appropriate slot for which week they were HoH. Natalie finishes, but only gets five out of 10 right. Yikes. Jordan is up next, and the best part about her turn is that you can hear the studio audience rooting for her the entire time, which you decidedly could not hear when Natalie was competing. Ha. The crowd has the right idea...because Jordan wins part two, dominating with nine correct! YAY YAY YAY! I am just so happy Natalie is out of the picture, y'all. Here's hoping we get a Kevin/Jordan final two. We end the show to the sounds of Natalie justifying why she lost. Natalie, you just suck. Deal with it.

Well, that's it for me this season. Enjoy Jessica's final two recaps, and I'll see y'all next summer!


Favorite quotes:
  • "Michele said she was a villain? She's not a villain, she's just a bitch." - Natalie, who has a whole pot/kettle thing going on there
  • "You're a little instigator." - Jordan, to Natalie
  • "My word means nothing in this game, so I will swear up and down left and right. At this point, all that matters is getting Natalie to fall so I can get to the third phase, win this HoH and boot this biznatch out of this house." - Kevin


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