'Big Brother 12': Kristen 'would rather have pride and integrity than $500,000'
Why do you think you were such a target?
"I don't think I was a huge target for a part of my stay. I think in the very beginning I was a target just because I was a little bit more reserved ... at times was a little more serious and some people felt I was a target. But as I Ioosened up and people got to know me better, there for about a week and a half/two weeks, I was completely under the radar. Once Andrew turned on me and threw out a bunch of information to the house, I knew that I had to go into defense mode and do whatever it was going to take to protect myself. People saw a different side of me, and I was a huge target."
Were you surprised to learn about Hayden's all-guy alliance?
"I was and wasn't surprised. I was surprised to hear it come out of his mouth because there were so many times when I would say things about Matt or Lane or Enzo and Hayden's reaction was either that he would agree with me or say things about them individually. He never really let on that he was in an alliance with any of them. But looking at the situation, I knew there was a good chance he had a thing going on with at least one of the other guys because we wouldn't spend that much time together so people wouldn't know we were together, so I was and wasn't surprised. We said in the very beginning when we made our own alliance that we were going to look out for each other, but obviously only one person is going to win this game so we had to do what is best for us as individuals too."
Do you regret anything you did in the house?
"I really don't have that many regrets because I told myself that I was going to go into this game ... with what I have outside of the house and that's with strength and integrity and being as honest as I could be. You have to live with yourself after this game and I knew my strategy was either going to make me to the end or break me close to the beginning. Everything that happened with Hayden, I don't regret. We had a really special connection. We could've done maybe an even better job at keeping it under the radar."
"As for Rachel, I could sit here and say I regret things happening the way they did between us but with her personality type, I think a blow up was bound to happen. It was just a conflict of personality. I wish that I did become a little bit closer with Ragan. I knew he was really smart, I knew that we kind of had similar thoughts and ideas. I think we would've made an awesome, awesome alliance ... I probably should have jumped on that sooner. But other than that, I don't have any regrets. I tried my best and I wish that I could've stayed longer. I think the people in the house and America should have a lot of respect for me."
What about your boyfriend in Philadelphia?
"Yes, yes. I'm in a really strange situation. Again, my honesty is very important to me and I knew that when things began with me and Hayden that [my boyfriend] was obviously going to find out about it and I'm glad that he knows because I would never want to hide anything from him. But he has to realize that I was in a very, very unique situation. If it were the real world and I would've met Hayden, probably nothing would have happened because I think I'm a really good girlfriend."
"But I was in a strange situation when you're stuck in a house with someone 24/7 and there's a connection there, how are you supposed to have your head on straight when you can't communicate with the people in your life you confide in. It would've been a completely different story if I had been able to call my mom and ask, 'What do I do?' And two, when you're trying to focus on the game, I didn't want to think about home that much. I didn't want to think about my friends and family all the time because it would bring me down. I was focused on what was happening inside the house and not what was going on at home. When you make connections with people, it's just going to happen in that situation."
Are you going to get back together with your boyfriend? Or try to make things work with Hayden outside the house?
"I don't know. It's really, really tough because before I came into the house, me and my boyfriend were really starting something special. It was a good solid strong relationship that I would never have thought this was going to happen. Then I find myself in a situation where you meet somebody and you have such a great connection and such a great chemistry and it's totally unexpected. Plus nobody can relate to me and Hayden and being in the situation we were. You have to be in that house to know how it feels, trying to win half a million dollars and at the same time you have feelings for somebody. I just need to take time for myself and think what is going to be best for me and what's going to be best for my boyfriend back at home and what's going to be best for Hayden and I think everything will fall into place in the next few months."
Who are you rooting for now?
"I'm really really rooting for Ragan because he doesn't really have anybody at this point. There's a four-person alliance, I would love to sit here and say that I want Kathy to take it all the way b/c I love her so much as a person but I think that physically and strategically she doesn't have what it takes to make it all the way, especially on her own. If I were in the house, she would've had a better shot. Ragan's in a really, really tough spot right now because there are four guys who are together, but Ragan has what it takes to figure out the situation and play around with it. Aside from myself, he was one of the best players in the game. I hope he figures everything out."
Any messages to your fans?
"Just know that I tried my best and I wish that I would've last longer. My luck in this game was not the best. Some people have good luck and some people have bad luck and I didn't get dealt a great hand, but this experience was once in a lifetime and I don't have too many regrets. I hope that they realize that out of everybody in the house, I think I played the game with the most integrity, and I would rather have pride and integrity than $500,000."
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Photo credits: CBS