'Breaking Pointe' recap: Little Deathquakes

breaking-pointe-season-1.jpgPreviously on Breaking Pointe: We met the dancers of Ballet West, including motorcycle-riding Ronnie, brothers Ronald and Rex, prima ballerina Christiana, special snowflake Beckanne, mean leader-on of boys Allison, and poor wee Katie, who got shipped off to Idaho. This week: It's kill or be killed! One of the dancers says, but at least she doesn't say "literally." This isn't the Hunger Ballets.

It's the final week for the dancers to return the contracts they got last week. Ronnie has not signed his yet, because he wanted to be a principal but Adam offered him "first soloist." As Ronnie explains this he's hanging around his apartment wearing only basketball shorts. Rowr.

Rex brings Allison a cup of tea and puts her feet in his lap as she voiceovers that she doesn't know why dancers date other dancers. She then takes a big bloody bite out of his tender heart. Oh, Rex. They fill us in on the Ronald and Katie situation; Katie is coming back from her auditions for La Spectre de la Pomme de Terre, and Ronald hasn't signed his contract yet because maybe he wants to turn down his good job here and follow Katie off to cow country? I am skeptical.

At rehearsal, Ronnie is telling some lady about how he worked on his motorcycle this weekend. He is wearing skin-tight superhero black and I'm going to try not to comment on his body every single time he's on TV, but OH MY GOD IT'S RIDICULOUS. Christiana talking heads that she's confident that Ronnie started doing ballet to get girls as we see him hugging the girl he was talking to a minute ago. Beckanne elaborates on how flirty and touchy Ronnie is and then Ronnie does that ridiculous pec-jumping thing The Rock does and I am immediately forty percent less attracted to him. Well, maybe thirty.

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