'Breaking Pointe' recap: Unnatural Selection

breaking-pointe-season-1.jpgWelcome to Breaking Pointe! I will warn you all now, I never took ballet and my experience with it is pretty much limited to Black Swan and multiple viewings of Center Stage, so I can pretty much guarantee you I'm going to start calling various dancers Jody Sawyer and Charlie From Seattle. Is that all right with everyone? Great.

Okay. We open with a girl intoning solemnly, "Every day since I was three I've dreamt of being a ballet dancer." There are many artistic shots of disembodied feet pirouetting, and then we meet our first dancer: a suspiciously burly fellow named Ronnie with giant blue eyes. Hel-lo, Ronnie. Ronnie does a giant Cooper Nielsen jump move thing and says, "We train more hours than an Olympic athlete." Well, sure, all of you put together.

Another boy dancer: Ronald and his weird little chinstrap beard. Next: Christiana, who I desperately hope turns out to be queen of Denmark. (Or is it Sweden?) Bedazzled Rex. Babyfaced Katie, saying, "There's rivalry... and relationships." I'm just abandoning hope right now for anyone to have the proper grasp of subject-verb agreement. Beckanne, who's wearing a great big pink thing.

The dancers are all voiceovering about obsession and competition and someone asks, "Why do we do it? We do it... to be perfect." We're going to get some heavy duty Little Girls in Pretty Boxes **** sometime soon, right?

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