'Dancing with the Stars': Everybody get on the floor

Steveguttenberg_annatrebunskaya_dan Tonight is the first and only time all 12 couples on Dancing with the Stars get to perform together. And the first time we'll get to compare Steve Guttenberg and Marissa Jaret Winokur's relative levels of hyperness.

Spoilers

So, 10 seconds into the show, co-host Samantha Harris screws up her own name before butchering the rest of her intro. Does she need glasses? Is that why she has such a hard time with the teleprompter? And that one singer in the band looks like she's wearing a dress made of the same red latex Britney Spears wore in her "Ooops, I Did It Again" video.

1. Steve Guttenberg & Anna
Dance/Song: Mambo - a song that I assume is by Lou Vega talking about having "girlfirends everywhere"   
Anna's been feeling like she's too hard on Steve so she brought in her mom, former World Champion Irina Trebunskaya, to provide some balance. As soon as Irina gets there, she and Steve bond - she's a big Police Academy fan and they both do yoga and they're the same age. They get along fantastically. Steve wearing a white suit, lime green shirt and white shoes for the performance which is fantastical. Watching him dance is like watching your kid at his first recital. He's just so freakin' excited and happy about everything and you can't help but enjoy it regardless of how good or bad it is. And this was...well...on the bad side of things. But I still love The Guttes.
Judges:
They all said that, despite really enjoying his enthusiasm, it was not so much. Carrie Ann was the most helpful by saying he needs to work on his musicality.
Score: 16 (6-5-5)

2. Cristian de le Fuente & Cheryl
Dance/Song: Quickstep - "You Want To Be Americano" by The Brian Setzer Orchestra
To help Cristian get used to keeping his posture straight, Cheryl brought in a military uniform to wear while practicing. He had a slight problem that it was a Navy uniform and he was in the Air Force, but hey, she was just looking for the results. And it did help - his posture is much improved and his technique was pretty solid. On occasion it looked like Cristian was counting in his head or waiting for Cheryl to come to him for the next move, but overall it was fine.
Judges: Carrie Ann is appreciative that he took the notes they gave him last week and approved his posture. It was a little too wild for Len and Bruno shared the sentiments of the other two, including that Cristian needs to focus on improving his footwork.
Score: 20 (7-6-7)

3. Monica Seles & Jonathan
Dance/Song: Mambo -  "Never Gonna Get It" by EnVogue
Monica is having some issues with the facial expressions because she never had to smile at opponents so Jonathan's been really working with her on that. And on everything else. She looks good in her little gold dress and she's performing admirably and looks like she's having fun...but, it's not so good. The footwork was off a lot. But I (like the judges) recognize how out of her element she is and appreciate all the effort she's putting in and how far she's come.
Judges: Bruno smartly gave some advice that mirrored tennis. Carrie Ann commended Monica for really attacking the number. Len echoed both sentiments.
Score: 15 (all 5's)

4. Penn Jilette & Kym
Dance/Song: Quickstep - I can't remember the name but I think it's by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
The big problem with Penn is how big he is so Kym is doing her best to get his posture right and footwork clean. The posture bar is too small for him so he tried using the bar he was leaning on that broke off the wall. The performance starts out with him using a voodoo doll that looks like Bruno and laughing maniacaly. Fantastic. Penn's not taking super huge strides but that's because if he did, they'd stride right off the floor. His posture was good and, sure, he's still clunky out there but it was dang entertaining.
Judges: Len and Bruno both condemned his footwork but Carrie Ann said, in spite of that, she really enjoys watching him.
Score: 17 (6-6-5)

5. Priscilla Presley & Louie
Dance/Song: Mambo - I'm not sure of the name but it may be called "Bossanova Twist"
Priscilla's really trying to be perfect but Louie says she has to let go and just have fun. Her outfit makes her look like Leapoard Mambo Barbie. It was the most...demure Mambo I've ever seen. Sure, it had some hip action and all that, but it's kind of like Jane Seymour last season - there's an intrinsic grace there. She had moments where it looked very good and she ended doing this crazy roll thing on the floor - followed by crawling towards the camera like a cat. Well excuse me.
Judges: Carrie Ann is impressed by her natural charisma. Len and Bruno both said it was a little too precise but good still.
Score: 21 (all 7's)

6. Shannon Elizabeth & Derek
Dance/Song: Quickstep - a modernized take on "Sing Sing Sing" that I've never heard before
Shannon thought the judges over-scored her last week because she's such a perfectionist and knew she messed up a lot. Weirdo. While wrestling with that issue, she also has to contend with the fact that she doesn't have enough stamina for the super-active Quickstep (which Derek remedies by making her jog uphill). For all the worrying she does, she performned very well. A few posture bits here and there but Shannon has the best overall footwork so far. She could use a little ballet to help with the consistancy of her leg extensions, but she's progressed a lot since last week.
Judges: Bruno, Carrie Ann and Len all really liked it and thought it was the best dance so far.
Score: 24 (all 8's)

7. Jason Taylor & Edyta
Dance/Song: Mambo - I'm guessing the song is called "Mambo, Si"
Realizing Jason's potential, Edyta decided to give him the hardest Mambo she's ever given anyone at this point. Jason got a standing ovation and it's definitely deserved. He had good footwork and hip action...color me impressed. He's defintely one of the front runners. There was this floor drag they did that I was sure was going to make Carrie Ann of the Lift Police appear, but I think all the judges recognized that the only thing that made it a lift was the fact that Jason is so much taller than she is and he tried to keep her on the ground.
Judges: Nothing but praise with Carrie Ann saying that she can see him winning and Bruno calling him "The Mambo King."
Score: 27 (all 9's)

8. Marissa Jaret Winokur & Tony
Dance/Song: Quickstep - "Flip, Flop and Fly"
Marissa was really upset that she messed up last week, but Tony helped assuage her fears by telling her she has an x-factor that no one else has. She showed definite improvement from last week. There were some syncronation issues, occasionally she was off the beat, but that may be more attributed to adrenaline than anything else. 
Judges: Carrie Ann, Len and Bruno all shared the sentiments of really liking her and commended her on her improvements, but also said to work on keeping up with the footwork.
Score: 21 (all 7's)

9. Adam Corolla & Julianne
Dance/Song: Mambo - I've never heard it before but I think the song is called "The House of Bamboo"
Adam had a hard time with the hip action initially but, for some strange reason, he's picked up the choreography better than the Quickstep. He looked like he was having a whole lot of fun and it showed during the performance. It was an enjoyable little number almost completely bereft of technique.
Judges: All three enjoyed the number, but surprisingly none more than Len who recommended Adam go that extra step next time and wear giant ruffled sleeves.
Score: 19 (6-7-6) - if I were Monica I'd be ticked.

10. Marlee Maitlin & Fabian
Dance/Song: Quickstep - a Latin version of "Mack the Knife"
The problem that they're having in rehersal is being able to communicate without looking at each other so they clarified the physical cues they'd use. Regardless of her inability to hear, Marlee did a great job. She had a great energy and performed well. My only problem is that the producers gave them a song that would be better for a Latin dance, which makes no sense to me. I guess that's their way of welcoming the new guy - "Welcome to the family! Here's a taste of subtle sabatogue. Get used to it!"
Judges: Len didn't appreciate the Mambo steps in there but he thought it was good. Bruno agreed with Len and Carrie Ann is blown away by Marlee's musicality and ability to bring out the character of the dance, though she needs to work on her hold.
Score: 24 (all 8's)

11. Kristi Yamaguchi & Mark
Dance/Song: Mambo - "Hey Baby" by No Doubt
Kristi's having issues breaking loose and shaking it as she's naturally shy. To help her loosen up, Mark puts on a skirt and acts a fool. Hi-larious. I thought she was going to have problems with the Latin dances for the reasons Kristi admits to but, man, she was really good. She still needs work on the hip action but she really did shake it much more than I expected her to. I liked the number and the song choice didn't offend me like I thought it would.
Judges: All the judges are surprised and impressed by both her precision and the choreography.
Score: 27 (all 9's)

12. Mario & Karina
Dance/Song: Quickstep - "Valerie"
In order to help him perfect his footwork, Karina takes Mario to the beach - if he can get the steps in the sand, he can do it on the floor. Also, it's an excuse for him to take his shirt off. Karina and Edyta both subscribe to the Skin To Win Philosophy. The dance was energetic and full of character and the technique was solid. I could really tell that Mario worked hard on improving.
Judges: All three judges complimented Mario on his improved footwork, though Len dinged him for his dropping his arm in the hold on occasion.
Score: 26 (9-8-9)

Gutten-ism of the Day: "This show makes the world a better place."

Who's Out: I'm thinking it'll be Monica and Adam unless he or Jimmy Kimmel have been lobbying for votes. All I know is that it better not be Le Guttes.

SHARE IT ON: