'Dancing With The Stars' recap: Bad Romance

dwts-hosts.jpgIt's Classical Night! Because I am uncultured, I will not enjoy this as much as Motown Night, but I will definitely like it better than Personal Story Night. Anyway, we open with someone who's probably famous for playing the violin, and he's playing the violin! And then the troupe is all dancing while dressed up like extras from Amadeus, but with shorter skirts somehow. I should watch Amadeus again. Whatever happened to Tom Hulce anyway? He did Animal House and Amadeus and then he played the black sheep in the movie Parenthood (a role taken on by Dax Shepard in the TV show) and then what? I looked him up and it seems that he's largely been involved in producing Broadway shows. So good for him.

Anyway, it's Classical Night! After the individual dances, there will be the season's first team dances. And the first couple to dance tonight will be Katherine and Mark. They have the rumba, and they'll be dancing to "Canon in D." Is that Pachelbel's Canon? Like the wedding processional one? Katherine feels unsure about doing a sexy rumba with classical music. Mark points out that you can't spell classical without ass, and I think Mark just made me laugh for the first time EVER.

They are dressed as Ancient Greeks, I guess? Katherine looks like Helen. I think Mark is supposed to be a Gladiator, which seems more Roman, so maybe they're Roman. Like they did historical research. Mark whips his shirt off and about five women cheer. Don't encourage him, people. It is really, really weird to see a rumba to this music. Also, there is no percussion, so it must be hard to keep the beat. They do a fine job, I guess. It's flowing and there is lots of hip action. It's all just weird. And they definitely kissed at the end, for anyone who cares about such things.

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