'Dancing With The Stars' recap: Begging You for Mercy (And Votes)

jennifer-derek-dwts.jpgIt's the semifinals! That is exactly half of the finals! Or would that be the demifinals? And why don't we have demifinals, anyway? And why didn't they promote last week's episode as the quarterfinals? None of these questions will be answered tonight, live.

Other questions that won't be answered: Did Tom get a haircut? Why is Brooke dressed like an awards statuette? Why is Brooke so bad at reading from the teleprompter? Is that Lacey's real hair? Does Mark show more skin since Bristol is showing less? How many pain pills is Jennifer Grey taking exactly? How many spangled epaulets do the costumers have at their disposal? Who thought crimping Brandy's hair would be a good idea? Is Kyle's tie made of leather? Why?

Brandy and Maks are up first. We have to revisit Maks and Carrie Ann's argument, even though it has been reported that they hugged and made up after the show. Instead, we get to see it as an opportunity for Maks and Brandy to bond. In rehearsals, Brandy is wearing silver boots. Is she auditioning to be Wonder Woman?

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