'Dancing With The Stars' recap: Soft Rock

dwts-hosts.jpgIt's Rock Week? Kim left and I'm stuck with the house band attempting to do rock songs, and watching these pseudo celebrities try to look edgy? God help me. I hope she's thoroughly enjoying her vacation.

Kiss is opening the show, and well, that's what it is. They are in full makeup and I have hard time watching this after watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels and seeing how he acted. I just know too much, I prefer some mystery to my rock stars (except Bret Michaels, I always want to know more about his ass). Also, Gene's voice isn't holding up well.

Halfway through "Rock and Roll All Nite," the pro troupe comes out with some red chairs and their own made up faces and does a routine that would be fit for a strip club. I can't even begin to figure out who is who under all the hair and makeup, but the girls have metal chains and are wearing fishnets and bikinis, so I doubt anyone's really looking at much else. Way to start this family show with some appropriate dancing for all ages.

The judges all have paddles that say 11, even though that's Spinal Tap and not Kiss. This really doesn't bode well for tonight. And we're told that Kiss will also be back tomorrow night, for whatever that's worth. I'm far more interested in the fact that they're touring with Motley Crue. It takes me back to my well spent youth thinking about shouting at the devil with all the power that a suburban white girl could muster. The couples are introduced, and Gavin's still got a hat on. I'm telling you, that's what's keeping him in the bottom. It's a put off.




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