'Dancing With The Stars' recap: Storytime

tom-bergeron-dwts-320.jpgThis week on "Dancing With the Stars," the dances are supposed to tell a story. And just like last season, I think that pretty much every dance is supposed to tell a story, so I don't really get this challenge. I think it just encourages business, which Len and I hate, and props, which Len and I also hate. Len and I protest this week. The opening credits just remind me about Audrina's Ceiling Eyes. Do you think she knows that she has ceiling eyes? Is there a surgery for that? Because Audrina clearly is not against surgery to improve her appearance, if you know what I'm saying.

I don't know what's going on with Story Week, but there are a lot of people wearing glasses for some reason. Karina, The Situation, and Jennifer Grey are all wearing glasses as part of their costumes. Tom and Brooke tell us that props are encouraged this week, as part of the storytelling, so the glasses must be props. This leads into a clip package where the couples talk about their story for the week. Some of them sound weird, and some of them sound seriously weird. It is going to take a lot for one of these stories to win me over, I can already tell.

The pros are going to give us an example of a story dance. It's supposed to be three poor men romancing three rich women. The men are Dmitry, Jonathan, and some dude. The women are Kym and two others that I don't recognize, I don't think. And I totally don't get the story. To me, it's just three dudes dancing with three women. I don't know how I was supposed to get that the women were wealthy and the men poor; their costumes don't give that away. And the big story development is that the women go from long dresses to short dresses. So...that was supposed to represent something? I mean, if the pros can't even tell a good story, what hope do the stars have? This is already dumb.

Jennifer and Derek: Last week's frontrunners have the samba this week. They work out a tale of a student and a teacher, but Jennifer struggles with the difficult choreography, which includes a samba roll. The actual routine begins with Derek at a desk and Jennifer at a blackboard, and then they start dancing together. Her footwork is crisp and her lines are good. She seems to have a tiny stumble in the early going, but they do get to the (shortened) samba roll, and Jennifer does a good job of staying in character throughout. Another one of my complaints about stories with dancing is that people stick a little skit at the beginning and the end, and the whole middle is just plain dancing. But this is good dancing, so it's better than the typical muddle.

Len says kind of the same thing I just said about continuing the story through the dance, which they did well. He also noticed her stumble early on, but he thought she did well overall. Bruno calls her "the sexy mistress of Cougar Town," but also points out her missteps, even though he found it great. Carrie Ann thought they were slightly out of sync. Derek protests and actually pulls Jennifer back out to the floor, where they execute the sequence in question perfectly. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8 for a total of 24.

Florence and Corky: Florence was in a touring production of "The Sound of Music," so she's thrilled to be waltzing to "Edelweiss." Corky and Florence rehearse their story, which involves a sort of forbidden romance. And then Florence gets me when she talks about her late husband, and how this dance reminds her of their story. Oh, Mrs. Brady. Their waltz begins, and Florence looks good during the footwork but she looks a little wobbly to me in the turns. And the story sort of falls apart after the first few bars. She does a one-legged turn near the end that is impressive. And then of course, Corky has to practically make out with her at the end, which is gross. NOT NECESSARY!

Bruno thought it was simple and effective, and  ...

Here are the scores:

Audrina and Tony: 26
Jennifer and Derek: 24
Brandy and Maks: 24
Rick and Cheryl: 24
Kurt and Anna: 23
Kyle and Lacey: 23
Florence and Corky: 20
The Situation and Karina: 20
Margaret and Louis: 18


Photo credit: ABC

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