'Desperate Housewives': Marry me, Bree

marciacross2_desperatehousewives_s6_290.jpgTonight on "Desperate Housewives," Karl proposes to Bree. Holy crap.

Bree's Bridal Shower
Our lovely neighborhood redhead starts to fall for Karl and just as she tries to break up with him, he gives her a beautiful antique cameo and says, "I love you." Holy crap. Of course, Bree wears it to a dinner party at Susan's and Susan recognizes it. Bree returns it to Susan, while shooting daggers at Karl (who is dropping off Julie).

Bree uses this duplicitous re-gifting as a reason to break up with Karl but he just blurts out "Will you marry me?" HOLY CRAP. DH is really busting out the the big guns for sweeps. Bree goes to Susan to fish for information on Karl. Susan actually says some nice things about Karl.

Bree then goes back to Karl and tells him he should focus on getting her divorced first and then they'll work on the changed Karl he promises to become. She says no sex for a month so that she can be sure it's real.

Right at the end of the episode, Orson goes to the antique store where Bree says she purchased the cameo and finds out they don't sell antique jewelry, only furniture. DUN DUN DUN.

Gabby & Carlos' Blanks
At the elementary school Thanksgiving pageant, Juanita forgets her lines and says the F-word in front of the whole school. Oops. And also: HA! Swearing little kids is funny. The principal is making Juanita draft an apology letter, drop out of the Thanksgiving pageant and be on cafeteria-cleaning detail. Gabby goes ballistic and when the principal questions Gabby's parenting skills, Gabby pulls Juanita out of the school.

Since no private schools have any openings, Carlos tells Gabby she has to home-school Juanita. Uh, there aren't any public schools in Fairview? It looks like a fairly suburban, affluent community. There really aren't any suitable public schools? I went to a public school and got a top-notch high school education. That's just silly. They don't live in East St. Louis.

Home-schooling doesn't go so well because Juanita wants to be back in school. Gabby has to fix it with the principal.

Lynette's Cheater
Tom comes home drunk with some of his "college" buddies. There was a bar and some beer pong and they call him "T-Scav" and that's all well and good when you're 20 years old, but seriously Tom. You're a middle-aged father of 4 (soon to be 6) so rein it in.

A few days later, Tom says he's going to the library but really he's going to a party. Lynette heads to the party to bust him and finds out that Tom is being "T-Scav" in order to get mid-term answers. Oh Tom.

At home, he confesses to Lynette that he's drowning in college, especially a required course that he doesn't need (statistics). Lynette says what he does is talk to her or talk to his professors but he doesn't cheat. He calls her on lying about being pregnant and tells her not to act all self-righteous.

Susan & Katherine's Tension
Katherine comes to apologize for her cuckoo-pants behavior and she manages to apologize in the craziest of ways. When Susan is hesitant to be BFF with Katherine, Katherine passive-aggressively threatens to sue Susan and essentially blackmails her into being friends.

When Katherine calls late at night for plumbing help from Mike, Susan insists that Mike help her but since it's in the master bathroom, Susan comes with Mike to help. Katherine is quite surprised when she answers the door in a negligee and Susan is there. Susan sneaks upstairs and finds Katherine's love nest for Mike. They start fighting and end up in the bathtub. Natch.

The Bolens
Angie gazes at a picture of her mother and is sad because tomorrow is her birthday and her mom passed away. We find out later that Angie's mom is alive and doesn't know where they are. Katherine overhears because she's being all "Bonnie & Clyde" with Angie like they're partners in crime and stops by unannounced.

Katherine wants the gun for evidence so she can get Susan arrested. Angie pushes her off but she calls Susan over to spill the beans about Katherine's lunacy about Susan. Angie plants the seed in Susan's mind that Katherine strangled Julie.

Thoughts & Tidbits
  • Now that Angie has turned the suspicion on Katherine, I no longer suspect her. My suspicion's back on Nick Bolen.

  • Carlos: We are both at fault, but you're home-schooling her.
    Gabby: Fine. But I know someone who isn't getting blanked tonight.
    Carlos: Fine with me. I blanked-off earlier.

  • [Lynette gives Gabby a globe for home-schooling Juanita]
    Lynette: Here you go, Gabby. It's kind-of old, it's from before the Soviet Union broke up.
    Gabby: The Soviet Union broke up?

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