'Desperate Housewives' recap: The Sweet, Chalky Revenge Of Beth Tillman Young

desperate-housewives-s7-felicity-huffman-320.jpgIn the first hour of the two-hour finale, resolutions are made to several dangling plot threads, most excitingly in the Paul/Felicia/Susan storyline that's been the most consistently enjoyable thread throughout the season. Mike helps Paul understand that it's been Felicia poisoning him the whole time, and like magic Paul's able to get Susan out of jail. Felicia disappears, and Susan and Paul have another of their heartwarming moments, and everything's fine...

Except of course, Felicia's been in town the whole time, waiting to get her revenge. Susan walks in on Paul, tied up with an antifreeze IV, and once the fighting's all over Felicia's once again run away with Beth's ashes, leaving a repentant Paul to finally confess for his Season One murder of Felicia's sister. Which is not the resolution Susan, or your recapper, would have been happiest with. Of course, the fact that Beth's ashes immediately tip over in Felicia's getaway car, blinding her just long enough to swerve into the path of an eighteen-wheeler, provides enough of a relief that we'll let it slide.

Otherwise, you've got the Scavos at a B&B "working" on their "marriage" and horrifying a cute young couple with the depths of their misery. Tom eventually produces their original modest engagement ring, which he's had set with the tackiest of gigantic Danielle Steele diamonds, which causes Lynette to freak out more on him. By the halfway point of the two-hour event, the Scavo divorce slash murder-suicide is looking more likely than ever.


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