Few thrills and one spill on 'Dancing with the Stars'

Tombergerron_samanthaharris_dancing Drew Lachey has only been gone from Dancing with the Stars for two weeks and I already miss him terribly. I have to fast forward past Samantha Harris' backstage interviews because they physically cause me pain. Speaking of pain, Marie Osmond passed out this week. Hopefully she didn't crack her head on the ballroom floor. More on that below. This week features the Samba and the Rumba, two of my favorite dances. Too bad the music always blows. Thanks producers.

Spoilers

1. Marie Osmond & Jonathan
The Dance:
Samba
The Song: Not sure of the title, but it's surprisingly appropriate.
Marie professes to be worried about her hip action during rehearsals. And rightly so. Not that she didn't have a good energy and not that her legs didn't look great, but it just didn't have enough...oomph. It didn't come together like the other dances and her hip action definitely wasn't there to the level that it could've been. It was a cute number and all, but, considering who's left in the competition, I have a feeling this may land her in a little hot water this week. And holy crap she just passed out! Apparently, those were her sentiments too as Tom says her first words when she gained consciousness were "oh, crap!" . Marie suffers from some sort of condition (which I assume is asthma) that sometimes causes her to pass out if she gets too worked up...an explanation which doesn't help poor Jonathan who must be freaking out the way he's got his arms around her backstage.
Judge Highlight Line: Um, not applicable.
Score:
21 (all 7's)

2. Jane Seymour & Tony
The Dance:
Rumba
The Song: A terrible rendition of "Breathe Again" by Toni Braxton that I muted
Unfortunately Tom mentioned the whole Lift Police incident from last week at the beginning of their segment. Boo on you, Tom. Then they talk about how tough a teacher Tony is - basically it's a "shut up and do as I say thing." She had great lines, as always, and was very classy. She didn't have quite enough hip action (if she did, she'd look just like one of the pros). I'd pick on her some more about it but then I remembered that she has some undisclosed back injury from her childhood, so I can't be too harsh on her.
Judge Highlight Line: Bruno said that she "looked like Edyta at times."
Score:
26 (8-9-9)

3. Mark Cuban & Kym
The Dance:
Samba
The Song:
The Theme from I Dream of Jeannie, which was really good. Lack of vocalists helped.
Mark's been responding to emails one at a time to thank them for all the votes he's been begging for. You can say a lot of things about him, but being bad at business/PR is not one of them. Kym came out dressed like a Genie. Never let it be said that Kym is not a great choreographer. It's a super cute number - it was funny and had whimsy. Mark was passable. His technique is still weak but it was definitely entertaining.
Judge Highlight Line:
Bruno said it was his "most entertaining dance to date" and that "technically, you're not Fred Astaire." For some reason, the audience booed that second bit, which I don't understand because he's totally not, nor will he ever be. Just saying...
Score: 21 (all 7's)

4. Sabrina Bryan & Mark
The Dance:
Rumba
The Song:
"Me & Mrs. Jones" by Billy Paul? Boooooooo!
Sabrina is not feeling comfortable with the whole expression of intimacy necessary for the dance. Luckily, Mark's mom, 3-time World Latin Champion Shirley Ballas, showed up to help some. And, I speculate, to meet her future daughter-in-law. Did Momma Ballas' advice help? It did. Her turns and stops have speed and drama, she's got great lines and she's working her hair extensions. Good job as always, especially to a crappy song for the Rumba. I'm really impressed by the way she's taken to Ballroom because, as So You Think You Can Dance has taught us, Hip Hop dancers can't always adapt to such a different style.
Judge Highlight Line:
Carrie Ann said that instead of knocking "us" over, she "gently beckoned them in."
Score:
28 (9-9-10)

5. Jennie Garth & Derek
The Dance:
Samba
The Song: A crap version of "Cosmic Girl" by Jamiroquai
Jenniegarth_whatilikeaboutyou_240_0 Derek says that in order for Jennie to learn this dance, "she's gonna have to learn to shake her fun stuff." To that end, he brings her to see Aisha Francis, an awesome choreographer who's worked with Beyonce - so clearly she knows something about shaking one's booty. Jennie says we'll be surprised to see her "shake it like a salt shaker." Her exact words. I like her more now, because that was just silly. Her outfit's great and she does a serviceable job with the moves, she just seems a bit...off? Uncomfortable? I blame the music, personally, because it seems like she's waiting for counts almost since it's a bit slow in tempo. There were moments of real greatness and she shook it well and their Samba rolls were nice. Maybe the Marie pass-out lingered.
Judge Highlight Line: Carrie Ann offered the advice of "you've gotta mean it."
Score:
25 (8-9-8)

6. Helio Castroneves & Julianne
The Dance: Rumba
The Song:
"Apologize" by Timbaland ft. One Republic - Great song, less than stellar vocals.
They weren't quite getting it in the studio so they practiced on the beach. Did it help their chemistry as much as Helio said it did? Um...sort of? The sparkly black shirt he was wearing helped too, I'm sure. It was great choreography as usual but it wasn't up to par with other dances for me. Like, there was certain energy missing. The judges agree with me, all of them saying that he looked like he was concentrating too hard or something.
Judge Highlight Line:
Well, it wasn't from the judges, but Tom did tell Bruno to calm down because "you're scaring the children at home."
Score:
23 (8-7-8)

7. Mel B & Maksim
The Dance:
Samba
The Song: "Spice Up Your Life" by the Spice Girls. I'm sure Mel can't wait to hear it butchered.
They went into rehearsal right after the show, mainly because Mel had to go to London for a Spice Girls video shoot. I must say, it was good seeing all the girls again. I miss the mindless yet enjoyable pop of the late-90's. This was easily the best Samba of the night. Mel did this crazy split move, she's one of the few non-pro women with consistent hip movement, she had great lines, and there was an actual exciting energy to it. Bruno agrees with me about it being the best of the night and Carrie Ann said it was her best dance so far. Brava!
Judge Highlight Line: Len called them "fruity, sweet, delicious - more bounce to the ounce."
Score:
29 (10-9-10 - Woo!)

8. Cameron Mathieson & Edyta
The Dance:
Rumba
The Song:
A song by Nora Jones - I think it's called "I Can't Help Myself" -  one of the few appropriate songs of the night
Cameron is wearing a shirt that says "Camyta." Hilarious. Since Cameron is an actor, he created a story to go with the dance. Susan Lucci made a guest appearance to give some tips on connecting and, man, is she tiny! Love ya, Lucci. Cameron takes his jacket off at the beginning of the dance and, with the billowy white shirt open almost to his navel, he looks like he's straight off a romance novel. Skin to win, Edyta. It was really good, actually. They had a real connection and Cameron hit some great lines, legs especially. He needs to watch his hands though, the splayed fingers are distracting from otherwise lovely arm lines. I think his Rumba is up there with the best of the night. His improvement continues. Carrie Ann of the Lift Police made another appearance, unfortunately, but she had good things to say in general. She wasn't nearly as jerky about it this time though.
Judge Highlight Line: Nothing too outstanding.
Score: 26 (8-9-9)

The Bottom Two: Hmm...that's tough this week. Mark should be down there, but who knows at this point? I don't think Marie will be in the bottom due to the fainting spell and I'm not sure if it's the fans that are voting for Helio as much as it seems - I guess this week will let us know that. Um, so I'm going Mark and a total shocker - like Jennie or Helio.

Who's Out: Again, it should be Mark. I know he's trying hard but, at this point in the competition, that's not going to mean much against all the talent left (especially since Cameron is actually improving, whereas Mark isn't improving as drastically).

What are your thoughts? I was kind of bored by most of it, thanks in part to poor music choices by the producers. Who should stay? Who should go? Wasn't that fainting spell from Marie crazy? It even scared me...

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