'Glee' recap: Light At The End Of The Tunnel

glee.jpgThis half of tonight's extra-special two-hour Glee extravaganza was exceptionally light on the plot, but I feel I can't just slap up a list of the songs, so here goes:

New Directions almost gets completely derailed on the eve of this year's Nationals competition when Mercedes downs a bad burrito, but Coach Sylvester whips her back into shape just in time for the children to perform to a packed house that includes this evening's special guest judges Perez Hilton, Rex Lee, and Sméagol. Once again, the children's primary competition is Vocal Adrenaline, who perform a couple of numbers centered around Not Really All That Unique, and when Perez and Sméagol split the vote, it's left to Lloyd from Entourage to choose the winner.

Naturally, that winner is New Directions, and during the wild celebratory montage that ensues, Will and Emma finally knock boots. And in the end, Mr. Schue wins Teacher Of The Year because he's so inspirational, or some such bull****, and everyone gets all misty-eyed and clingy.

Featuring little Steffi Germanotta's "Edge Of Glory," as performed by the fun-loving gals of Idina Menzel's erstwhile lady-choir, with solos split amongst Santana Lopez, Mercedes, Quinn, and Single-T Tina; "It's All Coming Back To Me Now," a song whose most notorious interpreter I will be doing my best to ignore, as performed primarily by Idiot Rachel with backing vocals provided by the other children of New Directions; Meat Loaf's infamously gonzo power ballad "Paradise By The Dashboard Light," with solo duties shared by Frankenteen, Puck, Dreamboat Blaine, St. Gay Of Lima, Santana, Brit-Brit, Mercedes, and Rachel; Nicki Minaj's "Starships," as performed by Vocal Adrenaline, with Not Really All That Unique handling the lead; "Pinball Wizard" from The Who's Tommy, as performed by Vocal Adrenaline, with Not Really All That Unique once again handling the lead; a stirring tribute to Starlight Express, as performed by The Scaleblazers of Portland, Oregon; Grouplove's "Tongue Tied," performed by the children of New Directions as background music for their victory montage; and Queen's "We Are The Champions," performed by the children of New Directions as tribute to Mr. Schue during the Teacher Of The Year awards ceremony.

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