'Good Wife,' 'Trophy Wife' and more best lines on TV this week
"Snow White. That's her name? Even I think that's a bit precious and mine's Tinker Bell." -- "Once Upon a Time"
"Roast swan. That's amusing. You'll get that later." -- Rumpelstiltskin, "Once Upon a Time."
"Trophy Wife," as "Magic Mike" is on:
8-year-old Bert: Hey, where did that guy's pants go?
Kate: Bert, um, that guy's a liar so his pants are on fire.
Bert: Is that why the fireman's there?
Kate: Yes, exactly.
"The Good Wife":
Diane: I want what I'm worth. You want me not to bad talk you to my clients, rethink your offer. Now get out of my office.
David: This isn't your office.
Diane: It is. Until you have the security guards escort me out.
"I've seen 'Smokey and the Bandit' a thousand times! I love that movie!" -- Tig, "Sons of Anarchy"
"I did what any good dad would do: I forced her to be an unpaid laborer." -- Mike Henry, on getting his daughter Eve an internship at his TV station on "The Michael J. Fox Show"
"A bank is just a paper bag with fancier walls." -- Nick, "New Girl"
"I would never lose to a boar." -- Ron Swanson, "Parks and Recreation"
"Isn't language fun? It's like racquetball for your mouth!" -- Andy Dwyer, "Parks and Recreation"
Cher, on "The Voice," when Blake Shelton asks where she's been all his "Voice" career: "I've been working. I don't just sit on my a** and punch a little button."
"It's time you got ready for the dream-sucking monster that's about to shoot out of your hoohah." -- Christy to her pregnant teen daughter on "Mom."
"The world isn't kind to mavericks, Bill. You have to learn to hide in plain sight." -- Barton Scully, "Masters of Sex"
"If you haven't got the godd*** brains to know that when strangers come asking questions, we close ranks, then I fear our line is truly at an end. ... I couldn't toast a piece of bread with the heat they were putting on you. ... We, even the weakest among us, are better than the rest of them. ... The point is -- in this whole, wide, wicked world, the only thing you have to be afraid of ... is me." -- Fiona, "American Horror Story"
"His skin is so taut -- I just want to know it." -- Betsy, after seeing Danny's nude art exhibit on "The Mindy Project"