'Gossip Girl' recap: Bad Bromance

gossip-girl-season-5.jpgChuck pursues his revenge against Dan, setting him up for a plagiarism scandal and awesomely marking Alessandra with the very suicide scarf Charlie Trout used to masturbate himself to death. After Blair calls him off -- explaining very sensibly that a Chuck whose "goodness" is limited to not hitting objects near Blair's face isn't really all that "good" at all -- he stops his campaign... But changes his tune once the real Gossip Girl sends him proof that it was Dan who sent her the wedding-day video that nearly ruined everything.

After Dorota locks Blair and Serena in a room to resolve their ****, B comes up with a dumb plan to hang out with Dan and just be friends with him. Dan, of course, hates this plan -- and so does Serena, since it ends in yet more kisses. However, a UCB performance of selections from Inside finally convinces Blair that her deal with Dan is legit, and she ends the episode with a tender kiss for him.

While that part was rad -- and really smartly arranged -- mostly it was a pleasure to see Blair acting like herself for the first time in literal years. And of coure, she's still got Chuck on the line, her relationship with Serena to consider, and will be married to the monarchy for at least a year, so it's not exactly smooth sailing ahead.

CeCe's impending death brings all the Rhodes Women together, including both Charlie Rhodeses. Aunt Carol comes clean about her machinations, and Lola fires Carol as her mom, heading off for a hookup with Nate finally. Meanwhile, Serena takes her Blair betrayal feelings out on Ivy, who goes running to Georgina for help, but she does eventually give Blair and Dan her blessing.

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