'Hell's Kitchen' recap: Southern Discomfort

gordon-ramsay-hells-kitchen.jpgPreviously on Hell's Kitchen: Cooking! Dirty mussels! Shouting! A dirty pot! A chef got thrown out by a sous chef! A lie! Mushy squash! Or possibly squashy mush! That one directorial move where the camera shakes when Gordon hits something! Tiffany went home!

The surviving chefs mope back up to the dorms. Except for Barbie, who's pretty smug about not having been eliminated. Kimmie in particular is in tears about Tiffany being gone, because she believes that Barbie's "funky ass" should be gone. I can't tell how funky her ass is, so I can't rule on that.

An insert shot reveals that it is still a full moon, the way it always is on this show. It's nice to see some traditions live on.

Everyone goes down to the dining room where Gordon Ramsay has a giant map with pictures of food in location-appropriate places. You know, Maine has a lobster and Wisconsin has some cheese. This leads to the concept of Southern Cuisine, which somehow means that we have to have a gospel choir. We are subjected to a surprisingly long segment of the chefs clapping their hands and informing us that when it comes to this little light of theirs, they intend to let it shine. Kimmie in particular is doing a lot of swaying back and forth. She's from the south, you know.

Gordon thanks the gospel choir and tells the chefs they'll be reinventing a classic southern dish. Each member of the choir has a sign with their name on it. Half of them are blue and half of them are purple. And on the other side is the name of a southern dish. This seems unnecessarily convoluted. Barbie gets to pick her opponent, and she goes with Clemenza. Barbie gets catfish and Clemenza gets collard greens. Both dishes are pronounced as if they were gospel songs. Clemenza, who is from Staten Island, tells us that he has no idea what collard greens are. Well, that could be a problem. On the other hand, it should be easy to reinvent something if you don't know the traditional preparation, right?