'Hell's Kitchen': The kids aren't all right

hells-kitchen-0622.jpgAfter the first part of tonight's double episode ends, we start in on number two.

Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Meter: 27
Contestants' Bleep-O-Meter:
51
Most Relevant South Park Quote: "That's Scott. He's a dick!"

The chefs go back upstairs after Maria's elimination and Nilka immediately starts hurling [bleep]s at everyone. I was under the impression that it was Fran who made the decision to nominate her, but Nilka has decided she hates everyone: "[Bleep] y'all! And I mean that from the bottom of my ass." When Fran makes the mistake of walking into the same room as Nilka, Nilka explodes at her again. Fran claims to feel bad.

The next morning during roll call, Gordon Ramsay would like to quiz the chefs on some cooking basics. Jay! Name a mother sauce! Hollandaise is correct. Nilka! Tomato is also acceptable. Autumn? Bechamel, yes. Holli? Velouté. Good. And Scott rounds it out with demi-glace. Great. If any of them had missed one, they would probably have been sent home.

Anyway, the challenge is for each team to prepare five dishes to represent the five mother sauces. And to make it more complicated, each team gets 20 ingredients, each of which must be used exactly once.

The face-off ends 2-2, but the blue team wins based on Jason's dish -- a grilled strip steak -- being better than anything else (except Nilka's steak, which beat his head-to-head).

The red team will clean all the ovens, which is a good idea to do occasionally. And they'll also prep both kitchens for tonight's dinner service. Meanwhile, the blue team will go to a mystery place that reminds Gordon of England.

The blue team takes a double-decker bus to some place called Ye Olde King's Head, where they drink beer. It's the authentic British experience! It has a picture of Gordon playing soccer, which everyone remembers to call "football" while they're in Pretend England. Meanwhile, the red team is cleaning ovens. Nilka complains a lot. The ovens are gross, which is why you're supposed to clean them.

The teams are lined up in the kitchen for the pre-service talk. Tonight's gimmick is that it's kid's night, and that means that Gordon would appreciate it if they didn't make him "[bleep]ing swear". Good luck with that. Anyway, Siobhan is fairly confident in her ability as a pub chef to cook fish sticks.

The first order comes in to the red team, and they sound like they're in sync. But then it turns out that none of them is prepared to actually cook the spaghetti. I think this is what happens when the executive chef suddenly announces a whole new set of menu items two minutes before the doors open. But the garnish people are the ones who are supposed to cook the spaghetti, which we learn from the blue team, who appear to have a plan. So Siobhan's on spaghetti. She seems panicked. And Chef Ramsay yells at her for trying to cook the pasta in non-boiling water. More shouting.

Chef Ramsay hates some chicken and beef on the red side and makes everyone touch it. That's always fun. He throws everyone out, at long and obscene length. The twist is that he won't let them switch the ovens off; he says that he'll finish the service himself. Awesome! I've always wanted to see him do that. It will be nice to see him do some actual cooking on this show, and I suspect he'll enjoy it as well.

So the red side is now being staffed by Chef Ramsay, Sous Chef Scott, and Sous Chef Andi. They complain about the state of the stations, but they also get to work. The red team, meanwhile, is upstairs complaining at each other. Scott tries to blame some nebulous "the way you guys do things," which is somehow completely different from the way the blue team operated. That doesn't explain his numerous mistakes.

After the food has gone out, the red team comes back to clean up. Then they're declared the losing team. Chef Ramsay sends them away to pick two nominees for elimination, telling them to "[bleep] off out of here. Leave me alone." Aww. Poor sad Gordon Ramsay.

Gordon asks Fran for the two nominees. She starts with Scott, who smirks and shakes his head as though to say "This crazy broad! Nominating me! Crazy, right?" She explains that Scott has totally fallen apart. The second nominee is apparently Fran herself, which she doesn't have an explanation for. Gordon asks her for an alternate, and she puts Siobhan forward, blaming her jitters. Gordon asks Nilka for an explanation for Fran's nomination over Siobhan, and Nilka says that Siobhan's a team player and that Fran's slower.

Gordon has Fran, Scott, and Siobhan step forward. Fran, why should you stay? "I've got the guts." Siobhan? "I take pride in my work." Scott dumps on Siobhan for a bit. Okay, Scott, why are you up here? "I've had a tough couple services. I bust ass every day."

Gordon cuts him off. "I can't take it anymore!" Scott's out. Finally. He won't shut up, but at least his babbling will be off television. But wait! Benjamin is sent over to the red team, and he's told to run the team. Jay claims that now he's in charge of the blue team. We'll see.

Photo credit: FOX


SHARE IT ON: