'Jersey Shore' recap: Breaking Plates & Broken Records

jersey-shore-s2-snooki-320.jpgPreviously on "Jersey Shore": How does Ronnie get all that ass? And how is Sammi this dumb? Is it all about to blow up in their faces? Fingers crossed!

Da club. Ronnie dry smushes up on some hoochies at the club, underscored by an interview with The Situation in which he explains that Sammi is getting punk'd and that Ronnie's the President of the IFF, or I'm F****d Foundation.

Speaking of punks, Snooki makes her nightly call to Emilio. He picks up, also at da club, and slurs a bunch of drunken idiotic grunts at her. She raises her voice because he says he can't hear her in da club. Logically, he gets pissy that she's screaming at him, tells her he's going to find another orange midget to pound out, and hangs up. She screams like a maniac before wishing an STD on him. Which is pretty stupid considering it would be more effective just to invite him down to the house and let the herpes nest do all the work for her. Snooki interviews that men are such jerk-offs that the lesbian rate in America is on the rise.We're not so sure on the documentation on that one, particularly since I don't think, say, a Meredith Baxter Birney or a Kelly McGillis has had dealings with the likes of Emilio. Tila Tequila maybe...

Photo credit: MTV

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