'Jersey Shore' recap: Gateau Get Through This

jersey-shore-season5.jpgPreviously: Relationships were frayed -- JWOWW and Roger's, the Meatballs and Danny's. But Paula and The Situation were getting along swimmingly -- swimming in a pool of disease, that is.

We return to JWOWW's fraught conversation with Roger. He accuses her of not trusting him and calls her a damaged child, essentially, but insists that he loves her and wants to be with her. He asks, "So what do you want to do?" She affirms that she wants to be with him, they say a mutual "I love you" and squash this beef. JWOWW caps it off romantically: "Yeah, my ass is bleeding [from this reaming]."

They hang up amicably, and JWOWW updates the girls. Once they hear Roger was only late -- that he didn't cancel her -- they're like, "You're an idiot." Deena says, "Roger's, like, 65 years old. He's not going to be playing all these baby games like she did with Tom." First off, no one is older than Grandpa Sitch. Second off, no one is older than Grandpa Sitch! Deena calls JWOWW and brat, and she admits, yeah, she was.

Later, Vinny is giving the Meatballs a hard time for skipping out on work. Deena feels Meatball remorse, as does Snooki... ish. Her grand gesture of apology would be to buy Danny a bagel. Because nothing says "My bad!" like a flavorless carb fest that costs $1. Even Sammi is, like, "That idea sucks, Snickers." So Snooki revises her plan, suggesting they should make Danny a cake. They throw an entire stick of butter in the batter and then settle down. After a minute, they realize they don't know how long it should bake. Pauly says straight-faced, "65 minutes." Deena recognizes that's not right and starts to worry the cake has been in for too long. They skitter to the kitchen and notice they never even put the damn thing in. This apology is getting more and more sincere by the minute! Flash forward 65 minutes or so, and they pull out the cake, ice it up (complete with little Meatball stick figures), and cling wrap it up. It's actually kind of adorable. Not $6,700 dollars adorable -- which is about what they got paid for this little diversion, but whatevs... Snooki noshes in the kitchen while everyone goes to bed. A minute later, Sitch putters into the kitchen, and Snooki shows him her handiwork. He gives the cake an ominous look. Uh oh...

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