'Jersey Shore' recap: GTF -- Gym, Tan, Find Out Who Sammi Is Texting

jersey-shore-s2-the-situation-320.jpgPreviously: Roger returned. So did Sammi. JWOWW was happy. Ronnie, less so. At least until Sammi decided that he was somehow "different," a.k.a. exactly the damn same. How long can we endure this cycle of abuse?! I'm not talking about SamRo 2.0. I'm talking about that which the producers inflict upon us...

We open this week with a road trip as Vinny and Pauly accompany each other to Staten Island -- "an actual island," Vinny reminds Pauly, Rhode "Island" native. As they make the Iliad-esque hour-long journey, SamRo 2.0 go for manis and pedis (seriously, it happened), and The Situation shares some shenanigans with Lean Cuisine (apparently this is the name of one of JWOWW's foofy dogs) and "the big one" (JWOWW's other, likely chubbier and more bitter, dog). There is pizza from the trash. There is peanut butter and fluff slathered on the floor of the shore house. All in all, a good weekday afternoon if you ask me.

Staten Island. The "Guido circus" (Pauly's description of Vinny's family) warmly greet our two journeymen. One of Vinny's uncles asks Pauly what's up with his hair, declaring, "Bride of Frankenstein ain't got nothing on you." That's right, Bride of Frankenstein. You're not motorcycle-proof, bitch. Next time, come correct with that hair, hooker.



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