'Kell on Earth' premiere: Fashionably dysfunctional

Kell-on-Earth-Bravo-Cast-320.jpgKelly Cutrone's much anticipated series, " Kell on Earth's" premiere episode is a fast and furious intro to the people Kelly calls family and the world she considers her home.

Instead of recapping the crazy, quick first two minutes of the show, you can check it out here.

Meet the family
Kelly and her partners, Robyn and Emily, hold a meeting to get everyone on the same page for Fashion Week. Peoples Revolution (referred to as P.R. going forward), their fashion public relations company, is producing not one fashion show, but ten. Kelly is especially concerned that everything goes right, since P.R. is doing well in a hard economy while other businesses are going bankrupt.

Robyn, Kelly's partner currently lives and works at People's Revolution after she failed to find a new place before her lease ran out. Kelly lives in the building, as well, but she considers it the best way to be there for work and her daughter, Ava.

Stefanie S. was Kelly's last assistant who was just promoted to Jr. Account Executive. It's clear that she's fond of Kelly and sees her as a mentor and mother figure. Two weeks prior, Kelly hired gothy gay, Andrew, to be her new assistant. Kelly chose him, because he was a breath of goth air compared to the blonde wannabee PR girls that were interviewing for the gig. Kelly has vowed to help find Andrew a boyfriend or at least a sex partner. Can matchmaking be considered an employee benefit? At one point, Kelly and Andrew simply sit at the window and peruse the gays walking by.

The showroom showdown
Robyn asks new hire Stephanie V. to clean up the showroom, because one of their clients, the Spanish fashion designer David Delfin, is coming to visit. It's clear that there is a certain way Kelly and her partners want the showroom organized, but Stephanie V. doesn't know what that is. She says she has never been trained on how the showroom should look, but she does her best. When Robyn comes up to inspect, she has some changes. Stephanie seems to think that if Robyn wanted it a certain way, she should have come up earlier to train her. I'm thinking this is her showroom training. Am I wrong? When Delfin comes by, he basically stays within a few feet of the door, so, of course, he doesn't even get to check out the showroom. Sucks to be Stephanie. I'm not sold on her attitude.

We're all hookers
Last year, Kelly was fired after Eliot Spitzer's paid escort, Ashley Dupre, sat front row at her client Yigal Azrouel's fashion show. Since then, Kelly has befriended Ashley simply because she has no reason not to. When Ashley comes by for a visit, Kelly talks her out of protesting at that week's Yigal Azrouel show, because she doesn't want any bad publicity this year.

Behind the curtain
At David Delfin's runway show, Andrew looks fabulous in a Delfin-designed floor length black sequin gown. He says, "It's like the triple 'g': glam, goth, grunge. Like what I'm wearing has the power to completely entrance you." Love it.

While the models are changing into their first looks, Kelly asks the photographers not to shoot them. Of course, one fool doesn't listen and Kelly boots him from backstage. Soon, Kelly discovers that one of the monitors isn't working, but Kelly's "calm demeanor" (Chyeah, right!) gets it fixed in no time. The show goes off without a hitch. Well, there was one: Andrew M. is in love with one of the models. Awww. After the show, the booted photographer wins Kelly back when he appears just as she needs a photographer. Ding! It's clear that when it comes to business, Kelly knows when not to hold a grudge. Kelly later finds out that Andrew's crush has a boyfriend, though.

They're guest lists, not guess lists
Meanwhile, back at the office Stefanie is having a hard time balancing all the shows' guest lists. Kelly explains the difficult process of making seat assignments for shows depending on whether you're media or a buyer or a celebrity. By the way, anything behind row three means you're a nobody. Soon they realize that no one has been checking the RSVP phone line. Stefanie S. gets yelled at even though she asked Stephanie V. to do it. Kelly lets her know that just because she has delegated a task doesn't mean it's being done. Harsh, but true. Kelly makes an executive decision to have Andrew M. check the RSVPs, despite his complaints that he doesn't have the time.

Since Andrew M. has only been on the job for a couple weeks, he's already pretty sure he's going mess this up. I love that he's playing the "newbie" card. I would to and for as long as I could. Turns out that people who haven't been invited to the show have gotten their hands on the digits for the RSVP line and Andrew hasn't been confirming whether they're actually invited. Oops. Thankfully, Stefanie S. is looking out for him and taking some of the blame.

Everyone works into the night before the Chado Ralph Rucci show to make sure the RSVPs are counted and the seats are assigned correctly. When it's time to send the list to Chado, an hour before everyone has to be at the tent, the computers go haywire and the list won't print correctly. Poor Stefanie S.!

Next week: Will they be able to figure out the computer glitch and get the seating assignments to Chado with enough time to save the show?

Kelly-ism's:

"There are a lot of snotty, fake people here." - Kelly says this while wearing a Native American headdress

"If you have to cry, go outside. This is not group therapy, so get over it."

"We're like this wacky family. It's kind of like a 'Bonanza' 'Addams Family.' It's amazing."

"I didn't think it would be such a big deal, since half the people sitting in the front row at a fashion show are sleeping with people for money. Sometimes, they're just called their wives." (On allowing Ashley Dupre to sit in the front row of her fashion show.)

"At the end of the day, we're publicists, not magicians. If you have 225 people you want seated in the front row and you only have 100 seats, how many people can sit in the front row? 100."

"Don't cry about not being in the front row. You're seven years old." (After Kelly's daughter, Ava, complains that no one will see her all dressed up, since she's sitting in the third row.)

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Photo Credit: Bravo

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