'Las Vegas' gets hitched

Vanessamarcil_lasvegas_s5_240 After two of the most ridiculous episodes Las Vegas has ever subjected us to, I had high hopes for tonight. I hoped that there would be no assassins. I hoped that there would be no disturbing, nonsensical, paternity issues. Thankfully, and finally, the show didn't disappoint, at least that way.

The episode started off at a strip club (a solid Las Vegas start). Sam was called there by some of her whales and tasked with hiding the fact that the guys had been there ogling, and to help them clean off the smell of cheap perfume. To make it all slightly more difficult, the guys had to continue wearing the same clothes or their wives would know something was up. There was something of a time crunch, but Sam had a plan. She called "The Cleaner," the legendary man who could get the stink off anyone.

While "The Cleaner" succeeded, the whales didn't learn their lesson as they were back on the prowl the next day, with Sam promising that the man would be on retainer the whole weekend. It was a guarantee she shouldn't have made as "The Cleaner" wanted to retire.

Yet, somehow or other Sam got him to show up to clean the whales once more. However he walked into a suite not with two whales in it, but one that was full of men stinking of strip club. It was, he thought, an impossible task to perform alone. He explained to her that he would only continue is if his grandson showed up and took his rightful place in the family business. Herbert, the grandson in question, was a fighter for women's rights, he wanted nothing to do with the family business as he thought it demeaned everyone involved (but mostly women). Herbert had all the skills, all the talent, all the knowledge, and none of the desire.

After a conversation with Sam where she explained to him that he could either be average at something beneficial to society or fantastic at slime, the boy chose slime. He showed up just as his grandfather needed him and saved the day (and a few marriages too). By the end of the episode, Herbert and his grandfather had a permanent suite at the Montecito and were cleaning women and men alike. I guess slime flows both ways.

And then there was Piper, well, Piper and Mike. Piper and Mike went on a mission to hire a bartender, the most sought after bartender in Vegas. Piper and Mike ended up doing a lot of drinking at the bar in order to hide their intentions from the bartender's minder (how many bartender's have minders?). Anyway, they did a lot of drinking. A lot of drinking. Naturally, they got married.

They both promised to say nothing to anyone, but Mike instantly told Danny and Piper spilled the beans to Delinda. Quickly, very quickly, it all became a game of telephone as Danny and Delinda instantly broke their promises to not tell anyone and told each other on the casino floor. That wasn't so bad, they both already knew, but Cooper, who was standing behind them, didn't have any idea until that moment.

It was all terribly predictable, but at least, unlike recent episodes, it was understandable and fun. As the happy couple progressed towards their eventual annulment, romance started to bloom. The drunken wedding video put a slight bump in the romance road, but not enough of one for them to avoid their true feelings before seeing a judge. They both actually hesitated before signing the annulment, but they signed, they had to sign. The relationship may or may not continue in the future, but they weren't going to start a real marriage like this... or were they? They both head band-aids on their ring fingers at the end of the episode. Hmmm... Did they? Didn't they? Danny and Delinda voted that the couple stayed married, me, I'm not as convinced.

The show tonight couldn't be complete though unless Danny had a storyline too (he is, after all, the lead). It wasn't much a plot, but it existed. Danny and Cooper had a conversation early on about constructing an ice bar (just like the one at the Mandalay Bay). They'd talked about this before, and Danny was still against it. His idea was perhaps worse (a suitcase raffle), but both were from an episode earlier this season (who knew Vegas could remember that far back?). By the end of the episode Danny had come up with a better idea, one for a rooftop bar, and Cooper agreed to build it even though everyone else thought Cooper's idea better (but they all may just have been sucking up to the boss).

It wasn't a story really worthy of inclusion in the episode, but, again, at least it made sense. Las Vegas can be fun and funny and exciting, but it's all so much better when it makes sense. I don't want to have to choose between predictable and sane, but it feels as though the show is pushing that as the choice this season. I guess we should all just be happy that they still have new episodes.

You know who makes great sense? The guy who writes pieces at The TV and Film Guy's Reviews, that's who.

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