'Las Vegas' plays the ponies

Camilleguaty_lasvegas_s5_240 Oh Las Vegas, you go and disappoint me for weeks on end, and then, just as I've written off the entire season, you decide to get better. I thank you for that, but if you could just skip the bad episodes in the future I'd really appreciate it.

So, weeks after they got married, Mike and Piper have finally consummated the relationship. We can only hope that the show isn't planning on going all-pregnant, all-the-time (the very next scene was Danny shopping for a baby outfit, so I instantly got moderately nervous). My worry was not abated when Piper told Delinda that on a scale of one to ten, in bed, Mike was a three. Sure, talking to Danny, Mike gave her a four (and admitted to having been a three), but he seemed more than willing to try, try, again. There was no doubt that the two would be doing as much later, and the more often they do it, the more likely it is that she'll get pregnant.

It would, in fact, have to be later though as Mike insisted to Danny that he, Danny, needed to do a dry run to the hospital, so that he would be prepared for when Delinda was ready to pop. Delinda is 28 weeks pregnant though, so Mike and Danny figured it would be cruel to carry her into the car and stress her out. Mike couldn't take Piper because of the bad sex thing and as there was no way Sam would ever do it, they had to take Polly (see, I said last week she should be a bigger part of the show and there she was tonight, someone is listening).

When it came time to do the dry run, Polly even put on a fake belly and pretended to be having contractions. She then fell down on the floor and insisted that her vagina hurt and that Danny needed to carry her to the car. Seriously, is there anything better on Las Vegas this season than Polly? The woman even brought water balloons and popped one to simulate her water breaking in Danny's car.

While I thought the water thing was awesome, Danny didn't and between Polly's popping balloons and Mike yelling at Danny about going the wrong way to the hospital, Danny became flustered. He made the mistake of hitting the gas with a cop car right behind him. When they got pulled over, Polly tried telling the cop she was pregnant, but he remembered her performance in court with Sam from a couple of weeks ago. He wasn't buying the pregnancy bit and ordered her out of the car and into the back of his for a trip downtown.

Meanwhile, Cooper had some issues of his own tonight and they centered around Terry Bradshaw (though he insisted his name was Pete Skinner). Skinner and Cooper were both in the sports book and both trying to make time with some attractive women, the same attractive women. Skinner was winning his bets and Cooper losing his suggestions (he can't bet in his casino), so the women started to gravitate to Bradshaw. He was cheating. We all knew he was cheating, the only question was how he was cheating.

Skinner lost once, but then got back to his winning ways and yet another attractive woman started macking on him. She also sent him a card with something written on it and Cooper thought that maybe, just maybe, she was sending him tips. She denied it and claimed to just be a hooker (ah, just a hooker, I remember when I claimed to just be a hooker... wait, that's a totally different story, never mind). Mike and Danny did some pupil scan thingy and decided that Skinner was in fact, unquestionably, cheating. They just should have listened to me though, because I could have told them 40 minutes sooner. As it turned out, the feed coming into the sports book (and for the whole West Coast) was being delayed by one minute.

The feed was being delayed out of Colorado, and not so coincidentally there were a bunch of square dancers from Denver at the Montecito. One of their number was related to the feed operator who was delaying everything and the dancers were giving the winning horse number to Skinner by standing in groups of the appropriate size. Our guys figured it out just in time to get their money back and nab the bad guys. Okay, that was a really convoluted and ridiculous way to cheat, but I guess they almost pulled it off.

Sam's whale this week was fantastic, or, more precisely, his grandmother, Robbie, was. She was Mrs. Landingham from The West Wing (Mrs. McCluskey from Desperate Housewives if you prefer, but I don't) and she wanted to do nothing but play bingo. Surprisingly, Sam was into it. Sam is a bingo person. Who knew.

Sam ended up beating Robbie and Robbie stormed out. Robbie insisted that Sam had cheated, which I usually wouldn't put past our Sam, but I just don't think she did this time around. Sam's whale ordered her to give the grandmother the money she won, whatever the truth may have been. The whale even offered Sam his money, but Sam would have none of that and offered her own money to Robbie. Robbie didn't want the cash though, she wanted Sam to admit to being a dirty rotten cheating liar. Okay, those aren't the words she used, but the sentiment is the same. They decided to have a rematch with Delinda there as an impartial judge. Robbie ended up winning, but I use the term loosely as she fell down dead immediately after screaming "Bingo!" It was kind of an abrupt end to the story, but I guess they ran out of time.

See, all in all, a solid episode of Las Vegas. Sure there were some problems, and some silliness, but I think we're all big enough to accept such things. Plus, Cooper was on screen for a substantial period of time, and who can be upset with that?

Not me certainly, but I do get upset with other things, just go check out The TV and Film Guy's Reviews to see what I mean.

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