'Lost' has thrown a sheep at you

Matthewfox_lost_s4_240 I talk about the Zap2It's Guide to Lost Facebook group group a lot here on the blog. Why? Because it's a great way to continue the discussions we have here, plus offers a forum for lots of Lost topics that simply can't be covered here. There are discussion groups, opportunities to post links, The BTRWRTH Gallery, and most importantly, over two hundred members of the loyal Zap2It readership.

That's right, over two hundred. 205, to be exact. So it's time to set a new membership goal: 250 by the time Season 5 airs. I propose dividing this into a further sub-goal: 225 by Christmas. So if you read this blog but haven't joined yet, please do! If you have friends who like Lost, make sure to encourage them to join. Come January, there's going to be a full-on Lost assault with my very own version of Cerberus: the blog, the Facebook group, and my Twitter feed.

In order to spur on new membership into the Facebook group, I have something special for you all today. Inspired by this McSweeney's list, I humble present all four seasons of Lost as a series of Facebook updates. Major props to my wife for helping construct this list with me. Enjoy!

Season 1

Oceanic 815 is experiencing problems.

Jack Shephard needs to remember to go looking for that tennis shoe after he checks out that noise coming from the beach.

The pilot joined the group "Whispers."

Shannon Rutherford wishes she'd paid better attention in French class.

Terryoquinn_lost_s4_240 John Locke thinks, by and large, things are looking up.

Sayid Jarrah believes long walks along the beach are overrated.

Hugo Reyes added the "Census" application.

Charlie Pace regrets adding "Ethan Rom" as a friend.

27 people have added "Daddy Issues" as an Interest.

Boone Carlyle is really having bad luck with airplanes lately.

Kate Austen, Jack Shephard, Hugo Reyes, John Locke, and Leslie Arzt are attending "Party at the Black Rock."

Danielle Rousseau could have sworn she heard the Hostiles correctly.

Michael Dawson is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!!!!!

Season 2

Desmond Hume wonders what the hell THAT was.

Walt Lloyd is all wet.

John Locke became a fan of "Pushing the Button."

Haroldperrineau_lost_s4_240 Michael Dawson, James Ford, and Jin-Soo Kwon have joined the group "Tailies."

Mr. Eko will update his status in 40 days.

Goodwin Stanhope regrets having slept with the objection of Ben's affection.

Kate Austen wants to know where you're going, because she's coming with you.

Sun-Hwa Kwon wants a second opinion on this pregnancy test.

Marvin Candle wishes you wouldn't try and update your Facebook status from the Swan computer.

Michael Dawson and Walt Lloyd are both online.

Mr. Eko is updating his Jesus stick.

Henry Gale added the "Mindf#ck" application.

Hugo Reyes changed his relationship status to "in a relationship."

Michael Dawson is back in the Swan.

Hugo Reyes changed his relationship status to "single."

The Island is listening to purple haze, all in its brain.

Season 3

Benjamin Linus has left the group "New Otherton Book Club."

James Ford is noshing on a fish biscuit.

Mr. Eko has been smoked out.

Jack Shephard wants Kate Austen to go for a jog.

Blakebashoff_lost Karl is attending "Movie Night in Room 23."

Desmond Hume is trying to ensure Charlie's status doesn't change.

Mikhail Bakunin and Bea Klugh are no longer in a relationship.

John Locke became a fan of "C4."

Nikki Fernandez and Paulo have changed their relationship status to "buried alive."

The monster has tagged Juliet Burke in 43,435 photos.

Kate Austen has added "pity sex with Sawyer" to her Interests.

Sun-Hwa Kwon is down with D.O.C. (Yea, you know me!)

James Ford and Anthony Cooper are now friends. They found each other through the "People You May Know" application.

Alex Rousseau has written on Benjamin Linus' Wall: "Have fun at the cabin!"

Charlie Pace is off to take a little swim.

Kate Austen and Jack Shephard are attending "Secret Meeting at LAX 3 Years in the Future."

Season 4

Hugo Reyes is CANNONBALL!

Rebeccamader_lost_240 Charlotte Lewis is happy to finally be home.

Daniel Faraday has added "Rocket Man" to his iPod.

John Locke is making Miles Straume a delicious grenade sandwich.

Desmond Hume really, really, really, really, really, really needs to get in touch with Penelope Widmore: anyone have her #?

Juliet Burke just put yet another copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting: Island Edition" inside Sun's tent.

Kevin Johnson has just joined Facebook.

Danielle Rousseau has removed "backstory" from her profile.

Benjamin Linus has added Tunisia, Iraq, and London to the "Places I Have Been" application.

Charles Widmore has changed the rules.

Rose Nadler thinks the Island might be trying to tell Jack something.

James Ford is wondering why he was left holding the bay-bee.

Martin Keamy is all about the secondary protocol these days.

John Locke took the "Richard Alpert Island Savior Quiz" and scored 66%!

Hugo Reyes has sent Benjamin Linus an Apollo Bar.

John Locke wonders if there's a "Moving the Island" application.

Kate Austen and Sayid Jarra thought they were long past getting randomly captured by The Others.

James Ford just crossed off "jump from a helicopter" from his bucket list.

Benjamin Linus wishes Edgar Halliwax had also left behind some gloves. And maybe a hat. And a scarf would have rocked as well.

Jack Shephard is off to get the band back together...right after he cleans himself up.

Ryan also posts every 108 minutes over at Boob Tube Dude, then peruses Zap2It's Guide to Lost Facebook group. He also encourages you to join the all-new Zap2It's Guide to Lost Twitter feed.

SHARE IT ON: