'Masterchef' Season 2 premiere: Leave your newsboy caps, truffle oil and tears at home

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"Masterchef" really is the "American Idol" of food competitions. Not only do we get finalists, with real, otherwise almost undiscoverable talent... along the way, there are a bunch of crazy people who are totally kidding themselves.

And we get a bit of that during the audition round, which is how Season 2 of Gordon Ramsay's kinder, gentler competition kicked off Monday night.

100 will cook their signature dish for the judges before the official start of competition, with 30 progressing to the next round with a magical "Masterchef" apron. And while all of the night's apron-holders seemed to work for the judges, they didn't all work for me.

Here are my three of favorite, and three of least favorite, competitors who made it to the next round. (I'll refer to them by pseudonyms so Google can never embarrass me if I change my mind.)

The good

Bibimbap Monica
Wowing the judges with her signature Korean dish, while not being at all gimmicky or obnoxious, she probably emerges from round 1 with the most going for her. And that bap looked uh-mazing.

Begging Lady
Becoming behavior? Not at all, but she swore a whole bunch and seems completely nuts. That goes a long way in reality television. I don't think I can even comment on the judges' assessment of her, as I'm pretty sure they didn't even show what she cooked. Maybe she'll surprise us all.

Scottish Salmon
If we're handing out points for personality, Gordon's California-based countrywoman, who cooked a seafood spin on Haggis, took top prize in the season premiere. The only thing funnier than her bubbly presentation was the producers' decision to play some muzak version of the "Titanic" theme when they handed her an apron...

The bad

"Boy with Boobs"
No offense ladies, but unless you're guests at a British wedding, you can never pull off hats. And the panel shared that sentiment when they assessed the first competitor of the season, who, in addition to her sartorial missteps, seemed way too "on." Her curried shrimp didn't seem to please anyone that much, either. So I'm not betting she'll be around for long.

Gator Dude
Is it shallow to rule someone out as a serious competitor this early in the game, just because they lack front teeth and flash a tattoo of the devil on their hairy butt? Maybe, but I'm going to anyways.

Truffle Traci
Let's get this straight: Traci covers her sunny-side up egg (which looked like it had probably cooled to 46 degrees by the time it was served) in truffle oil, litters her plate in chive origami, sobs throughout the entire tasting and still gets an apron? I'm trying out next season. It's official.

The uncertain

Stay-at-home Mass Dad
The seafood stew looked awesome -- and warmed Joe's cold, cold heart -- but that shtick about the low self-esteem and being a better dad? Zzzzz... It's summer, and I want my TV free of real emotion.

Earlier favorites? Anyone rub you the wrong way? Let's hear it.
Photo/Video credit: FOX
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