'Momma's Boys' cooks up some dirt

Michaelsarysz_mommasboys_240 Oh...another week, another Momma's Boys. After Sweet Little Megan gave herself the boot in last week's "most dramatic elimination EVAH!", what other surprises does Ryan Seacrest's editors have in store for us? We'll see in what's only a one-hour broadcast. It's a post-Christmas miracle!

The day starts with a ring at the door and two men delivering a giant mystery box. All the bachelorettes and mothers gather around to see the men open it and reveal a locked, glass box with files on all the girls. Lorraine reads the note attached and says that each file contains detailed background and credit checks as well as internet searches. Some of the girls look mad scared, especially Erica who's the Penthouse Pet of the Year. She's scared about since she likes Lorraine so much. Each mother gets to pick one file to reveal to everyone but the girls who place top three in today's challenge will be saved from that. Khalood's eyes light up because...well, she's kind of evil.

Stacy is similarly concerned (like Erica) and decides to come clean to Lorraine one-on-one about being in Playboy ten years ago. While Stacy's parents were cool with it, Lorraine isn't - well, not to her face anyway. Meghan also posed for Playboy and confesses to Esther. Like Lorraine, not so much with that. Erica, however, is smartly keeping mum about it all since the bachelorettes assume the moms are only going to go after the girls they don't like.

Today's challenge is a cooking competition hosted by Food Network star Tyler Florence. The girls have the option to cook Momma's Little Bachelors favorite dishes or whip up their own meal. Some of those girls look like they might serve up some food poisoning as a side dish. Tyler will judge based on effort, creativity and taste. They have an hour. Nikki, Stacy, Michelle and Cara are on one team cooking up Lorraine & Micheal's eggplant Parmesan and apple pie. Nikki knows how to make eggplant parm already so she takes the lead. Everyone on the team is bleach blonde, much to Lorraine's dismay.

Camilla, Maisha and Lauren go with Rob & Esther's Matzo ball soup and kugel since they all like Rob. No one, however, dared try Khalood & Jojo's dishes - catlese and grape leaves. Tyler talks with her about it since it's not well documented. Erica is doing her own dish, a Southern casserole, to show the moms what she actually could cook. Amanda is making stuffed peppers with a side dish which that involves cheese and some other tasty bits that Tyler thought sounded good. Meghan is one of the people on her team.

Lorrainenichols_mommasboys_240 Meanwhile, back on Team Lorraine, Michelle is taking the skin off an apple with a giant, giant knife like she's whittling. It was the most unsafe looking thing I've ever seen. And to top it off, she dropped it on the ground, then picked it up and brushed it on her skirt like that magically made it sanitary. NO, I SAY NAY! Lorraine was horrified and Tyler came over and told her not to use the apple, adding there's no five-second-rule in cooking.

Mrs. B meanwhile is wandering around outside feeling hurt that none of the girls were interested in making her recipes. Tyler discusses it briefly with Julie who decides to make the dishes by herself. Well, not entirely by herself because Tyler decides to help her. The guys show up and enjoy seeing all the girls cooking and their moms interacting. Jojo, noticing his mom is missing, goes and finds her sitting on the stairs in the back. She's teary and says she knows no one is good enough in the house based on this, because they hurt her feelings by insulting her culture. Perhaps if she hadn't insulted everyone else's culture and basic being before even meeting the girls they'd perhaps like to try cooking your dish? Jojo tries to get her to come inside and be open-minded but it's a no-go and it ticks him off.

At the judging (Tyler and the MLBs all sit to eat), there are four teams and four dishes. When Michael tried Erica's dish, Lorraine noticed his eyes lit up which made her happy since she like her so much. Ha ha. Tyler loved Erica's dish, he thought Meghan and Amanda's stuffed peppers were the best tasting dish out of them all, and he gave a shout-out to Julie for doing her solo work. So those four ladies have gained file immunity.

That night, while "sleeping" on the couch, Mrs. B is trying to break into the case. Her big plan is to read them all in the bathroom then put them back. She's a criminal mastermind, that one. Lorraine and Esther catch her and crack up.

The next day, the chest is getting opened and all the girls are really quiet and nervous. Lorraine is the first to choose a file and, of course, she goes straight for Michelle's who starts crying. She feels that Lorraine doesn't like her already and now won't even give her a chance. Esther, the sweetheart, gives Michelle a reassuring rub on the arm and tells her to go talk to her. Lorraine first sees the list of "enhancements" Michelle has done then a list of total debt. This doesn't bode well for her.

When Michelle goes to talk to Lorraine, Lorraine tells her she's not judging her based on who she is, she's judging her based on how she'd be with Michael. Michael has no debt and Michelle has racked up low six-figures. Plus Lorraine doesn't get the enhancements. Geez, Michelle is only 25 - you'd think she was much older based on the work she's done. Though Michelle gives a heart-felt plea at the end, it doesn't change Lorraine's mind a bit.

Khaloodbojanowski_mommasboys_240 Khalood picks Brittany's file and wants to read it with her. She'd asked Brittany before if she'd done any nude modeling and Brittany said no. Untrue! Mrs. B says it's not acceptable that she not only did that but she lied about it. Brittany tries to explain that she wanted her to judge her based on character and not the nudie pics, but clearly Mrs. B is not a reasonable woman and would hear none of it.

Esther is last and takes Lauren's file. Lauren asks if she can go with her, which she agrees with. She's the only girl who has nothing bad in her file, plus some nice things her friends have said about her. It's a touching moment, really. Moving on.

After, some of the girls get date texts - Carina & Michael, Lauren & Rob, and Mindy & Jojo go out. Rob wasn't feeling Lauren as much as his mom at first and admits it took a kick in the pants to get him on the track. He must like her fine enough now since they gots to a-smoochin'. Jessica goes out with Michael and tells him that she has a kid. He seems to take it okay. Mindy, to her credit, refuses to slobber with Jojo on the first date.

Now it's elimination night and the moms make their last push for who they do and don't like. Khalood tells Jojo about the pictures. He only smiles, and turns away. Lorraine tells Michael about Michelle's plastic surgery and debt. He asks if she's making the debt up and she says no. Rob's the only one who got good file news about Lauren. Lorraine also tells Michael about Meghan's ongoing commitment to Playboy but...Michael only smiles and tucks his shirt in.

There's more mingling that night and Michelle's first order of business is stealing Michael away to talk to him to see where he stands. She admits that it's a large amount, but doesn't specify. Lorraine immediately goes over and break them up, asking if she had told him how much she owed when Michelle left. Lorraine wants very badly to tell him.

While Camilla and Rob have a very nice conversation, Esther comes and interrupts. Rob tells her to go get another drink and walk really slowly...and she comes back with Lauren. Good gravy, woman! Let's take that persistence down from a 22 to a 10, please.

Cara tries talking to Michael one-on-one but takes awhile to calm down enough to some words out, opting for giggling to fill the space. Michael looked a bit uncomfortable. Can we say awkward? Brittany talks to Jojo about posing for Playboy, explaining that she did it because she's young and that the pictures are "tasteful." He says that it's not something that falls in line with his beliefs and that he'll have to take that into consideration.

There are going to be five eliminations tonight. As some of the girls get texts, Cara starts freaking out. Stacy, who's actually really cool, is told no. Carina, after smooching with Michael on their date, also gets the boot along with Jessica. When Michelle gets her "meet me at the pool" text, Lorraine celebrates a bit. Not very nice, but understandable. Brittany and Nikki will be joining her as well.

Cara gets a no and is upset that she never even got a date out it. Mrs. B follows her to try and calm her down but Cara FLIPS out not wanting any of the cameras in her face. Khalood and one of the female producers take her to a separate room to try her calm down. She says it was two weeks of abuse, it was the worst experience of her life and she didn't even get a date out of it. Which she said repeatedly. Wow. I'm sure she's very sweet, but I'd just like to point out that I made the Crazy Eyes call the very first episode.

Jojobojanowski_mommasboys_240 At the pool, Jojo starts out by saying he could tell that things in the house had changed and that real feelings were at stake now. Up in the peanut gallery, Mrs. B chortles which Lorraine politely puts to an end. Jojo starts out by calling out Nikki. All three guys say they haven't been able to get to know her better and want to date her. Which will be really weird if they all end up liking her.

Michelle is called forward next and Michael addresses her. He says that while his mom doesn't like her, he may have to deal with her wrath and saves her. She responds by hugging...and kissing him. Which gets gasps and looks of "oh crap" from the girls watching from the balcony. Methinks she'll be shoving her panties in his pocket anytime now to make sure she stays. P.S. His mom already doesn't like you. You're not helping. As Michelle walks back upstairs, Amanda whispers partially to Lorraine and partially to herself that Michael just made a huge, huge mistake.

Jojo addresses Brittany and says that it's more fair to eliminate her now while they're still friends than keep her around and lead her on. Um, newsflash - you eliminating her does not preserve anything you may have had before. In her exit interview, she says that Khalood will make the worst mother-in-law ever. Meanwhile, Maisha is very upset that Brittany got sent home because they're such good friends. It hit her hard, poor thing.

Michael takes Lorraine aside afterward and tries to explain his reasoning for keeping Michelle. The argument is a valid though weakly stated one - that he feels she doesn't look beyond the artificial look of a girl to really get to know them. Well my dear, you fail to look beyond the artifice yourself. Irony. Oh, and he and Michelle kissed again after that conversation, just to twist that knife in a little deeper.

Your thoughts on tonight's episode? Were you surprised by the secrets that came out? How far will Michelle's brazen hussy manuevers have to go to keep her in the house?

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