'New Girl': Recap and quotes from the inspirational 'Menus'

new-girl-menus-jess-winston-zooey-deschanel-fox.jpgIf you're inspired by "New Girl" things like triumphs over Chinese restaurant menus and Nick doing roughly five pushups, this is the episode for you. Not only does Nick achieve something (and give an inspirational speech in the process), but even Schmidt comes back into the fold.

Winston barely survives though. So that's a bit less inspirational.

Jess dives into despair, a place full of MSG

Reeling from the news that a planned field trip to the ocean can't happen because of a lack of transportation, Jess vents her frustration on the millions of Chinese restaurant menus left at the loft door. This is what is called "borrowing from reality," in case you were wondering. Anyone who lives in an apartment knows full well that menus breed like bunny rabbits and cockroaches, rapidly approaching critical population thresholds in a disturbingly short amount of time.

Jess is mostly upset because this uses up a lot of paper.

She initially thinks her anti-menu efforts are a success when the owner of the offending Hop Foo's flirts with her. Alas, this is but a ruse. More menus are coming by the van-load.

Headway only comes about when Winston eats a few bites of the food and goes into anaphylactic shock from an MSG allergy. Once Jess has used her incapacitated friend to ruin business at Hop Foo's, the owner agrees to no more menus. Of course, this also means firing the Menu Guy, so Jess is sad again.

Coach helps Nick find inspiration and theoretical abs

Coach has moved into Schmidt's old room now that he's back in the loft. And he needs a project to distract himself from the pain of his recent breakup. Fortunately, there's no fixer-upper to match Nick. Coach is going to make Nick into a successful, functional man if it kills Winston.

It might kill Winston. Seriously the guy is a mess in this episode.

Ignoring Winston like everyone on the show does for the most part, we see Coach and Nick work out in an increasingly pathetic montage. Nick gets tired in a short amount of time and somehow cons Cece into delivering some Chinese food.

This makes Coach sad. With Jess at his side, Coach collapses into a noodle-fueled bout of self-loathing. Fortunately, this inspires Nick to give a moving speech about something or other. It's honestly hard to figure out what he was going for. The speech is, however, full of compliments.

Motivation is restored!

Schmidt resorts to espionage

Schmidt is still moved out of the apartment, but he can't bring himself to admit that he misses everyone. The poor guy is left with nothing but sounds coming through the walls and poorly hidden nanny cams.

The others do seem to miss Schmidt too.

Success on the beach

Once everyone is happy and motivated, Jess figures out a way to bring her students to the ocean. She gets the Hop Foo menu vans to carry the kids, who frolic in the waves and offer up inspirational hotdog hats.

The episode ends with Nick running (oddly), Schmidt getting his official key back and Winston immobilized and about to be buried in the sand.

It doesn't get any more inspirational than this, does it?

Funny things and stuff

"Remember when you sat out of the game because you were sad?" - Coach
"I was also cold." - Winston

"I thought God just didn't give me those." - Nick on abs

"Ride that hotdog hat all the way to the Moon!" - Jess to her student

"PEANUTS is an acronym. Physical Education Activity NUTS!" - Coach

"Did I leave my Oakland Raiders yarmulke over there?" - Schmidt

"I'm going to burn down your building! I won't do that." - Jess, being semi-threatening

"Oh my God, are you tipping me?" - Cece to Nick

"I'm gonna go research lawsuits in my room. For fun." - Jess

"Hey, what's up Jason Street?" - Nick to Winston, awesomely referencing "Friday Night Lights"

"Are you a doer or a dumplinger?" - Coach

"What's next, Roberto Benigni coming through the halls, making everyone laugh?" - Schmidt

"There are menus everywhere! And there are kids who want to see the ocean! And I don't like your vibe!" - Jess

"I was wrong about you. You're not a quitter. Now please quit!" - Coach to Winston

Photo/Video credit: FOX
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