'Revenge' recap: The One With Two DNA Tests

revenge-emily-van-camp-review-abc.jpgRemember the cliffhanger from last week? That sort of thing is just low-hanging fruit for Emanda when her prime targets are embroiled in a bitter divorce. She sends the video of David revealing he's Charlotte's father to Conrad and his lawyer. They run a paternity test, which reveals that David is, in fact, the father. This is all settled without Maury Povich, by the way. There is no little dance from Conrad when he finds out the news. Actually, while Conrad chooses not to cut off Charlotte from her trust, he still turns into the worst non-biological father whose child was the apple of his eye just moments before a DNA test. He all but disowns her, ordering her to go live with her mother with no explanation. Poor Charlotte. Poor rich girl Charlotte. Girl, don't you worry. You can buy a new biological father, someday.

While the Graysons may be dealing with one illegitimate daughter, they've gained an imminent daughter-in-law. Daniel ignores the last of his mother's pleas to abstain from marrying Emanda and proposes. It's a completely romantic, thoughtful and sweet proposal on the bow of the Grayson's yacht where they first met. It even starts pouring rain in the middle of Daniel's heartfelt speech, and he holds an umbrella for them both until he can pop the question. They throw away the umbrella and embrace in the rain. It's entirely one of those proposals you want to see on television, but wouldn't want to actually partake in because, **** -- don't drench me, rain. I have nothing quite so beautiful to distract me from the wetness.

So, that's all well and good, but Victoria has put two and two together about where the tape about Charlotte must've come from. She invites Amily over for tea to interrogate her, and catches her in a couple inconsistencies about her identity. Victoria has Ryan Huntley run a DNA test from saliva Amily leaves on a teaspoon before defiantly leaving. All of this should spell disaster for Emanda, but Huntley is in league with her and switches the sample to uphold Amily's identity as Amanda Clarke. Emanda had also stashed the stolen video cassettes from Mason Treadwell's house in Amily's bag at the Stowaway, so when Victoria sends a goon to retrieve the tapes, that suspicion checks out. The only snag is the goon inadvertently runs into Jack, beating him brutally.

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