'Scott Baio is 46... and Pregnant': Life in the fast lane

Scottbaio46pregnant_240 At this point I can't quite decide whether the formula of Scott Baio is 46... and Pregnant is comforting or distressing. I know that it's, purportedly, a reality show, but the plot points that every single episode follows seem so formulaic. It's all just variations on a theme, which may or may not be disappointing -- it all depends on whether or not you like the theme. Whether or not I personally enjoy it is probably a question for another day, let's go ahead and look at tonight's variation.

The episode started off with Scott trying to get Bailey's onesie on. It was not the easiest thing he'd ever done and he was trying to do it with a severe lack of sleep, but it was better than the next step in Scott's day, filling out his wedding registry with Renee and the wedding planner. Despite the fact that Scott wasn't paying for anything, he was kind of distressed by the prices of what they were looking at. The wedding planner didn't make things better as he took every single opportunity to make fun of Scott and his opinions. It kind of miffed our hero and he called the planner on it, effectively ending the day's shopping spree.

As if that wasn't enough for one day for Scott, that evening he went back to his daddy-to-be class. (Again, I must ask why this man is still in a daddy-to-be class if his daughter is already around, but that question will assuredly never be answered.) Scott explained how he felt as though he was in a rut (he described it as being in Groundhog Day), all he ever did was change diapers, feed his daughter, not sleep, and then start again. Yup, that sounds exactly like having a newborn child to me, it's just one of those things you have to learn to accept.

The weekly outing with the boys this week featured a trip to the California Speedway to do a little high speed driving. When Scott showed up, Johnny V., inexplicably, was buying souvenirs and wanted to grab one of the free tires that the Speedway was giving away, but neither of Scott's other buds was into the idea of the tire going in their car. The guys decided that whomever had the slowest time would take Johnny and his tire home at the end of the day.

The group spent a little time in a classroom learning how to drive before heading out to the track. Scott got all dressed up in the suit, jumped into the car, and was practically praying that he not injure himself the entire time. Once he was strapped, in he started going... very, very slowly. I'm sure that it was cut to make it look as though Scott was going more slowly than he actually was, but the instructor was definitely telling Scott to take his foot off the brake. Scott ended up with the slowest time of the group, but claimed he had to leave early and did so without Johnny. Then, in a clearly orchestrated moment of "reality TV" none of the other guys would give Johnny V a ride with the tire. It was one of the more foolish moments the show has ever tried to pass off on us, the not-so-unsuspecting viewer.

This whole driving thing was intercut with Renee and her two daughters shopping for a wedding dress. Renee was wearing a lovely do-rag and trying on white dresses. With her two daughters watching (well, one sleeping and one watching), she was trying on white dresses. White dresses... with her two daughters. Do you see where I'm headed with this? I'm going to assume you do and not discuss it further except to say she was shopping for a white wedding dress with her two daughters in tow.

What happened in the next day or so we were not privy too, because the show picked up a couple of days after the race car driving, with Scott running errands for Renee. On his way home he "just happened" to pass by a car that looked like Johnny's hanging outside a strip club at 11am. Scott parked and headed inside. There Johnny was, eating his lunch and watching a stripper do her thing. Just as Scott started to wonder out loud what Johnny was doing, Johnny cut him off. Johnny was distressed at Scott's having ditched him at the racetrack. Johnny argued that Scott and the guys were heading in one direction and he in another (apparently Johnny's direction was the "$5.99 lunch and lap dance special"). Scott tried to explain to Johnny that he liked where his life was headed, that he was thrilled not being one of those sad 50 year-old guys in a bar picking up women and the Johnny ought to look in the mirror. Scott said that he realized that he wanted to be home with Bailey, whether or not he was able to get any sleep. Thus, he left, went home, and sang to his daughter.

I feel like Scott learns a similar thing at the end of every single episode. It's not just me, is it? Every week I watch and every week Scott starts out as a disaster and then has an epiphany with 45 seconds left in the show which leaves him wanting to be married, or realizing that his womanizing might have hurt people, or loving and wanting to spend time with his daughter. I wonder if in the future the show will just go ahead and throw up a black screen with the text "and the moral of the story is..." before the final scene of the episode. At least I think they should consider doing it.

My moral? Visit The TV and Film Guy's Reviews, of course.

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