'Smallville': Hell is a place on Earth

callumblue_smallville_02_290.jpg" Smallville" goes back to the future, and it ain't pretty. It's red, it's miserable... basically the worst parts of the Bible. Don't bother kneeling for Zod, because you're probably already dead.

Lois has mysteriously disappeared from her hospital bed, and Clark is frantically searching for her. Don't worry, because Tess has her. See, she's been itching to find out what Lois was doing away all that time earlier in the season. Turns out, Miss Lane (via the Legion ring) was deposited one year into the future. And it sucks: Metropolis is a vast wasteland, save the Solar Tower running at full power. She gets thrown into the Kent Farm-turned-concentration camp where she meets up with a distraught Clark. After he trades his watch for food, he tells her that she's quite the time traveler. Also, his aggressive stance towards Zod is the reason why the Earth is doomed.

Speaking of Zod, he meets the newest apoplectic camper and takes back the Legion ring. It doesn't get any better when Tess is revealed to be the one who set the wheels in motion and has basically screwed over humanity. Even better: she is Zod's newest foot soldier.

Back in the here and now, Chloe joins the search for Lois and is able to determine she's got a wicked case of PTSD to the point that it may kill her. She tries to warn Stuart about this... except he's still doing Tess' bidding. Oy. Meanwhile, Lois finally meets Zod, who politely informs her that because she won't reveal her sources, she and Clark are destined to die. Clark is ready to sacrifice himself so that Lois may live. Just as he's about to go out Henry VIII style, Green Arrow and his band of merry men swoop in to save the day. Chloe tags along and takes her shot at Tess, killing her with quite the arrow. This allows for Tess to rejoin the real world, demanding Stuart wipe Lois' memories of that horrible place. When he doesn't do it, Tess shoots him dead. I guess her organization will not tolerate failure.

All the old plans sucked, so the new tactic is to upload a virus into the Solar Tower, thereby causing it to stop communicating with the satellites and return the sun to its normal yellow color, thus allowing Clark to whip Zod once and for all. Before we get to that, Lois and Clark rekindle that lost lovin' feelin'. Later, Oliver hands her a Kryptonite knife for use when the sun returns. Then comes the inevitable: Chloe dies after staying behind to launch the virus. Oliver's fate isn't that much better as he takes on the entire Kandorian army just to give Lois a chance to escape. She finally gets close to Clark, who is himself about to meet his end at the hands of Zod. If only they would have done it Zod's way...

ericadurance_smallville_290.jpgLois tosses Clark the knife, not knowing what it would do to him. Lucky for our heroes, the virus finally takes hold of the Solar Tower, rendering it useless and returning the sun to its primary color. Clark steals the ring back and creates enough of a diversion to defeat Zod and keep the assassin from taking Lois out. Thanks to the combined efforts of Chloe and Emil, Lois and Clark will live to kiss another day.

In the end, Clark determines his aggressive path to dealing with Zod was the worst possible choice, so he decides to whoosh over and meet the army himself. To his surprise, Zod not only doesn't immediately attack, he orders the flunkies to kneel before the Blur.

You heard me right: Kneel Before Kal-El.

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