'Supernatural' recap: The Hardy Boys Shoot Rainbows Out Of Their Ass

supernatural-jensen-ackles-jared-padalecki-320.jpgWell, that was weird. With last week's Amazons having long since vanished into the mist, and with no further Leviathanical developments in sight, Our Intrepid Heroes decide to motor on over to Wichita, Kansas, to investigate -- you guessed it -- a series of mysterious and gruesome murders that have been plaguing the town as of late. The first of these bizarre killings involves a bloodsucking octopus attacking an obese gentleman shortly after the fat-fat fatty ruined his only daughter's birthday party, the second features an actual unicorn impaling a "full-frontal douchebag" of a dad shortly after that gent humiliated his only son at another boy's soiree, and the third sees some hapless janitor chomped to death by an invisible land shark, the latter of whom has taken to prowling the fetid depths of a children's ball pit because, hey, why not?

Fortunately, it takes very little time for Sam and Dean to link all three murders to the dreadful kiddies-only restaurant from which this episode takes its title, and here's where things really start to go south for poor Darling Sammy. As you'll no doubt recall, the dear lad suffers from an intense case of coulrophobia, and as Plucky Pennywhistle's relies rather heavily on the clown-themed amusements to keep its customer base satisfied, Darling Sammy is of course rendered nearly paralytic with fear the instant he sets foot in the wretched place. Luckily, Dashing El Deano's there to handle most of the investigative heavy lifting this week, and what he eventually discovers is this: A Plucky employee by the name of Howard has taken it upon himself to rid the world of lousy parents (and interfering janitors) by having children's worst fears come to life through the magic of hoodoo. In fact, Howard's about to set a robot with laser beams shooting out of its eyes on yet another sucky dad when Our Intrepid Heroes interfere with his nefarious plan, so Howard first sends a team of demonic clowns to slaughter Darling Sammy, after which he attempts to talk Dashing El Deano to death. Dean, of course, has long since grown impervious to such nonsense, and eventually hoists Howard with the latter's own mojo by summoning the ginger nerd's own worst fear at an especially crucial moment in this evening's action.

And in the end, Our Intrepid Heroes chit-chat about their goddamned feelings -- again, some more -- for the better part of two and a half minutes. I'd tell you what they said to each other, but seriously: I'd fallen asleep by that point. Besides, does anyone really care anymore?

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