'Survivor: One World': Kat the teenage witch vs. Sabrina

survivor-one-world-lean-challenge.jpgWe've been reading the comments from you, dear readers, regarding the "Survivor: One World" season. It's interesting that people think it's boring - is it just because there isn't some Alpha male dominating the game? Is it because Kim's a woman and she's been expertly manipulating both the men and women to do her bidding? We wonder.

Post Tribal

Alicia is worried about Sabrina, who is a smart cookie, and starts to wonder if they should keep Christina around because nobody will vote for her to win. Uh, duh. I can't believe it took you so long to see that.

Sprint Reward Challenge

It's the Sprint Loved Ones by Sprint challenge from Sprint. Does it involve an actual sprint? It should. Interestingly, none of the women's loved ones are husbands or partners. Are they all single? That's rare on "Survivor." But Tarzan's wife is there, so that's cool.

Sabrina awesomely says she's playing for herself and Tarzan because he needs this more than she does. Yeah, brother isn't the same as spouse. Sabrina's awesome. You can bet nobody else is thinking that way.

The loved ones come out and it's waterworks everywhere, including watching at home. This crap gets us every season. Chelsea's dad remarks about her tan and she hilarious sobs, "It's dirt. It's not tan, it's dirt." Hahaha!

Kat crawls towards her cousin and then they talk in a high-pitched, secret language, it's super weird. And then Tarzan! *sniffle* She goes, "Don't ever leave me." Oh, geez.

The castaways plus their loved ones have to maneuver a rope maze to win a chicken dinner and margaritas with their family member. Kat/Robbie and Kim/Beth are the frontrunners, but Kat and Robbie pull it out.

Then when it comes time to choose who to take, Kat chooses Kim. When she gets to pick another one, she picks Alicia. Wow, that is cold. She says she's been wanting to hang out with these girls for a long time and she's super excited to "get drunk." Wow. I'm not allowed to print here what I really think about her because we are a family friendly site, but I'm sure you can imagine what I called her in the privacy of my own home.

Kim talking-heads that she has major damage control to do in the wake of Kat's stupid, selfish decision. Seriously. She's so dumb. She's just dumb.

Reward

Kat is all Lisa-Frank-trapper-keeper about wanting to spend time with her BFFs and get drunk. God, she's stupid. Plus, she totally thinks she, Kim and Alicia are final three, which - can she not see how close Kim and Chelsea are? Though Kim does lay it out with her sister how she thinks she can beat Alicia and Kat in the finals, which she probably can.

Back at home, Sabrina is hopping mad about how that went down. Well, now is her chance to get Christina and Tarzan and up-end this game. I'm totally rooting for them - get Kat out. Sometimes it is about deserving and she is not deserving - she has done nothing. Chelsea is kind of on board, but she says she has to talk to Kim first, which is not going to help.

The next day, Chelsea tells Kim what's going on and Kim says it should be Sabrina first because she's smart and Kat/Alicia are not. Kim has a point, but Kat is just so gross I do not want to see her continue on in the game.

Immunity Challenge

They are standing on a ledge, holding on to a handle and being lowered progressively to a horizontal position. Interesting. Sabrina surprises me that she's out first, while Alicia and Kat do not surprise me in their gloating. Tarzan drops next. Then Alicia, Chelsea and Christina. Kat and Kim go an hour. Kat is begging for Kim to let her win, but that's cheap. Don't let her win! And then she doesn't. Good job, Kim! And of course, Kat is a poor sport because Kim didn't let her win, like the giant baby that she is. Seriously, get her out. She is the worst. Hopefully Chelsea does the right thing.

Pre Tribal

Kat is so mortified by being beaten by someone who's 28. Oh, the horror! Meanwhile, Alicia is a little scared at Kat being tough in challenges, while Sabrina was the first one out. Hmm. Kim isn't down with that, but Alicia makes a good argument.

I am always a huge proponent of "if you get to the finals, you deserve it because you got there and other people didn't." So if Kat gets there, good for her. But there are also gross, stupid people who don't deserve to be let into the finals and that is this situation.

Tribal Council

Kat starts talking about how it hurts HER feelings to see everyone be mad at not being chosen to go on reward with their loved ones. And then she says she chose based on who she would have a good time with. Yes, because she's young and dumb. Sabrina points that out, while Kat rolls her eyes. Like the snot-nose brat that she is. She then takes offense that Tribal is all about her.

She gets called out by being a poor loser at the Immunity Challenge and she gets all huffy again. And THEN! Kat says "blindsides are fun and exciting ... cool beans. If it doesn't happen, touche. Whatever." She has no idea what "touche" means (shocker) and I like that bit of editing right there. The "Survivor" editors are the best.

During the vote, we only see Kat vote for Sabrina and vice versa. The votes go Sabrina, Kat, Kat, Kat and Kat!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA. The look on her facing is effing priceless. Go home, grow up and maybe read a book, dude.

Also, being 22 is not an excuse. I didn't act like Kat at 12, let alone 22.

Next week: Does Tarzan make a move? Also, Kat's exit speech is hilarious. "I left before Christina and Tarzan! *sniffle sniffle." Hahahaha.

Photo/Video credit: CBS
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