'The Biggest Loser': Makeover Madness

mike-ventrella-biggest-loser-s9-320.jpg" The Biggest Loser" brings makeovers, Jonathan Antin, and total babe hair!

We all know that makeover week is, like, the third-most watched episode of the season. And boy, the producers milked this episode for all it was worth. Speaking of milk, have you eaten your delicious Multigrain Cheerios today?! EAT THEM. NOW! Anyway, the remaining contestants get to pick out some awesome duds at regular-sized clothing stores. Sam, Koli and Daris all had to shop at Big & Tall stores (or, for some reason, farm equipment stores?) before the lost the weight.

The girls, Ashley and Sunshine, still have to shop at a plus-size store. Ashley is admittedly still a big girl, but to Sunshine's defense pretty much everything in that place was hanging off of her. She's in an awkward in-between phase I'm guessing. Then there's poor Mike who's all alone at the big boy store. He seems a little depressed that he's lost, like, a crap-ton of weight and is still really heavy.

If you guys never saw Jonathan Antin's reality show "Blow Out" you missed some prime entertainment. That man is boss! And he totally gave everyone the perfect cuts and styles. Mike no longer looks homeless, Daris got rid of the Muppet that was living on his scalp, and Sunshine's hair is babe hair (a commonly-used request for a Beverly Hills woman in Jonathan's salon. Seriously, watch his show).

Next was the reveal and family reunion. Koli was straight pimpin'! He looked like he walked right off the set of Mad Men. Then there was Ashley, who's all-black ensemble would have been boring if it hadn't been for her gorgeous hair and ankle booties. Daris looked decent but his outfit reminded me of a truck driver.

Alison Sweeney then escorts the contestants and their visiting family members to some kind of outdoor brothel. Seriously, it looks like they're about to get belly dancing lessons before enjoying some hookah. But then, Ashanti comes out and spews some unintelligible speech about not giving up on your dreams, and sings a song of inspiration. I seriously hope nobody out there in America got teary-eyed over this fluff.

This week's challenge was somewhat entertaining. It was one of those Jacob's ladder thingies. They had to climb or be thrown into the icy pool below. The first person out (which was Ashley) got a one-pound penalty at the elimination. And for the winner, a one-pound advantage. It boiled down to Koli and Daris. I know, right? Those guys were up there for 2.5 hours! Seriously! And Ashley was out in three minutes! Finally, Daris falls off and gives Koli the advantage.

As it turns out, Koli totally didn't even need it. Neither did Daris for that matter. Koli dropped a whopping 15 pounds, followed by Ashley's ten pounds! The bottom two are: Mike with a nine-pound loss, and Sam with only two pounds. Even though Mike is the bigger threat, everyone does the right thing and votes off Sam. The dude flat-out admitted he's hit his goal weight and doesn't plan on losing anymore. That's a first. Cute couple alert! Sam has moved to Los Angeles to be with Purple Team's Stephanie. They're in love! It's actually pretty sweet.

Who had the best makeover? Sunshine, Mike, Daris, Koli, Sam or Ashley?
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