'The Biggest Loser' recap: Hawaii Jennie-O

biggest-loser-sami-dolvett-bob.jpgPreviously: The contestants went to singles, the yellow line was implemented and Emily got the boot. This left Kim all by her lonesome, except of course for all the other contestants who will be coming for her next. We begin the episode by entering the post-elimination room, where Sami tells the contestants that they've proven they can lose weight in a few different contexts. But...can they lose weight in one of the most difficult places on the planet? Wait a minute, is that the excuse for the week? "I can't lose weight because I'm in one of the most difficult places on the planet." Makes as much sense as anything else, I guess. In any case, the contestants are going on vacation! To Hawaii! Wait, THAT'S one of the most difficult places on the planet? I was hoping for Antarctica or Greenland. We'd just watch them trudging through the snowy tundra with frostbitten faces and laugh as we sit on our couches, nibbling the last of our Girl Scout Cookie stash. The actual excuse for the week is, "I can't lose weight on vacation." Do you think they're going to make a case for hula dancing as good cardio?

With that, we are in Hawaii. The contestants don't have to wear their typical Biggest Loser t-shirts in their interviews. Rather, they get hideous Hawaiian shirts. You know who DOESN'T get hideous Hawaiian shirts? Bob and Dolvett, who kayak to the shore shirtless and smiling. This whole vacation thing may give us bonus glimpses of Dolvett's abs, of which I am strongly in favor. The trainers assure the contestants that they're going to have to work, because there's a weigh-in at the end of the week. They get one afternoon of fun before they meet to work out the next morning. Said fun involves frolicking in the waves, snorkeling, hot tubbing and listening to the Go-Gos. Sounds like an ideal vacation to me. Chris wants to forsake her ramshackle house to live the rest of her life at the Sheraton Waikiki. Mark is all business, and says he's planning on hitting the gym after their relaxing good time. Kim is sad that she has very few actual friends left to enjoy the trip with. Oh, and then Dolvett finds the contestants at the Sheraton pool and heckles them until they start to move around a little bit. He's particularly worried about Kim getting distracted as she doesn't seem to be her usual crazy self.

After a break, it's workout time. Bob and Dolvett meet the contestants on the beach, and introduce them to someone who is the epitome of no excuses. It's the one-armed surfer chick, Bethany Hamilton! A shark bit off her arm, which is a fact that makes you never want to get in the ocean again, I know. Bethany had been surfing since she was a tot, and lost her arm to a shark when she was only thirteen. She was determined to figure out how to surf with one arm, and in about a month was back out on the waves. She's a professional surfer now, and is decreed as the bad-ass of all bad-asses by Dolvett. She also seems like the sweetest person alive. The contestants are duly impressed, and will never complain about having to do squats again. Bethany gives everyone a surfing lesson, and no one even drowns. Several of the contestants talk about how amazing it is to be there, how far they've come, and how proud they are of what they've achieved so far.

Though most of the contestants take to surfing with great aplomb, Kimmy is not so psyched about the situation. It turns out that she's not so much of a swimmer, and is afraid of being eaten by sharks. And so is Dolvett! They both decide to conquer their fears and throw caution to the wind. And then they stand up on their boards! Triumph of the spirit! Bethany notes that Dolvett is a stud, proving that she's a woman after my own heart. Kimmy manages to get a wave all the way to the beach, and Bethany is proud. Kimmy tells us that fear is a feeling that you can get over. Later on, Kim feels kind of alone, but stresses that she's not a needy person. She'll put a target on her back, and it will bob up and down as she runs on the treadmill in the hotel gym. The other girls eat salads and throw shade behind her back. Kim should, like, crumble up Doritos throughout their healthy lunches as a form of sabotage.

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