'The Good Wife' recap: "Good, She Banged a Nice Bin Laden"

julianna-margulies-good-wife-S3.jpgThe case: Two young guys covered by diplomatic immunity are charged with the rape and murder of a college student found at the end of a booze cruise. One of them is Taiwanese, which is the only country not covered by the usual because of how China is super creepy; the other one turns out not to be taking a full load, and also could be charged. The Taiwanese kid did it, the Dutch kid helped cover it up, and Cary eventually arrests the Taiwanese kid free and clear after a tense phone conversation where Alicia tips him off by not saying what she's not saying she's saying, etc., and none of this matters anyway because the case is even more beside the point than usual.

What it spins, though: In order to negotiate the "thicket" of our gross relationship with China and their even grosser relationship with Taiwan -- and thus protect their gross client -- Diane gets Eli to call his ex-wife Vanessa (Parker Posey), who works for the State department. In return, she asks Eli to vet her for a state senatorship. Kalinda does her Kalinda stuff for him, and uncovers the fact that -- during their marriage, of course -- Parker slept with a lesser Bin Laden. So yeah, her run is out. Mostly it's about how fun you find it to watch Alan Cumming and Parker Posey act at each other -- depending entirely on if you like them and/or it is still the mid-'90s, which I do, and I guess it still is -- so it worked. I may hate Generation X but I reserve the right to absolutely love those two ladies, and I do.

(Although bonus awfulness points for absolutely the creepiest image of Alan Cumming's leprechaun semen and a Bin Laden cousin's regular semen mixing together in the psychodrama bain-marie of Parker Posey's very talented carnival vagina, which: Deal with that for one second. Somebody wrote that down on a piece of paper and then Alan Cumming said it and then Parker Posey on camera tried to explain to him -- to Alan Cumming, okay, who is like the Ron Jeremy of the enchanted sex forest, Alan Cumming who can't even introduce a PBS Mystery! without making you feel like you're being willingly prostituted to twinkling gnomes, that merry wanderer of the night Alan Cumming -- how semen works and how, like, vaginas work. And we watched this happen on TV.)


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