'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' recap: Second Degree Manzo Slaughter

new-jersey-2011-.jpgPreviously: Happy birthday, Jesus! We got you Kim G.

We return to the Gorgas' party just after Melissa and Joe escorted Monica Chacon out. The mood is festive, and Teresa is gratified. Alas, Kim G. is still swilling champagne in the background. Ironically, Melissa thinks Teresa and Kim G. don't get along because they're too similar, like "secret sisters." How do you say pot and kettle in Italian, again?

Either way, Teresa and Melissa are dancing and having fun together while Kim G. is in the background stirring the pot. The best part is that she says that Melissa wanted Monica "O-U-T." If you're going to pick a word to spell in some sort of weird attempt to be sneaky, maybe one with more than three letters is a better pick? I mean, the Gorga-Giuidice clans aren't the smartest (sprinkle) cookies in the world, but I'm pretty sure they know that one. On her end, Teresa is keeping it classy, knocking Kim for her duck lips. In the background, Caroline comments that Kim is trying to create drama between Teresa and Melissa, and you can tell she's getting fired up.

Melissa, Teresa, and Joe take a picture, prompting a comment from the wingnut gallery. Awesomely, Lauren's all, "Stop stirring the pot. You're pathetic." Caroline jumps in, and I'm not sure where the rage wells up (something about Christopher's friendship with Kim G.'s son?), but next thing you know, it's raised voices and Christopher trying to escort Kim G. out of the party. Christopher, albeit very aggressively, takes Kim G. out as smoothly as possible, even giving an earful to her bodyguard -- why she needs a bodyguard, don't ask... also, he's geriatric. How effective is a 60+-year-old bodyguard (who's not Clint Eastwood or Sylvester Stallone)?


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