'The River' recap: Not Penny's Boat

the-river-cast-abc.jpgAfter a sideswipe by a random rude vessel leaves the Magus stranded, it's up to Tess to yell into the radio for about twelve hours straight. The crew eventually decides to head out on foot, so of course that's when they're contacted by a friendly vessel, the Exodus -- a craft of eco-warriors who hate deforestation -- that sells them extra parts to fix the ship.

Of course, what they're really doing is being zombies.

Seems we've run aground of a Flying Dutchman, Brigadoon, Pirates Of The Carribean situation in which the five-man zombie crew of this ironically named boat can't ever leave it unless they replace themselves with fresh meat. One by one, our guys head over there. Some are lured, but of course most of them just blithely wander over out of bloody-minded idiocy.

Lena's spent the whole time worrying about the fact that nobody cares about her dad, Russ Landry, the hot-as-hell cameraman -- Played by Lee Tergesen! YES! -- that went missing along with Dr. Emmet Cole, so of course she finds him on the ghost ship during a playful exploration, but it's no good: She and Cappy are the first to be reassigned to zombie duty. (Not a new situation for him, but still not pleasant.)

Meanwhile, a more sympathetic zombie lady lures Tess over with the promise of a better map of the region... And perhaps most interestingly, the previously compromised and self-interested Kurt figures out that something's fishy and ends up accidentally volunteering as well, once he murders their captain -- who immediately comes back to life again.

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