'True Blood' recap: I Love You Jason Stackhouse

true-blood-season-5.jpgLafayette and Sookie spend all day traveling around town cleaning up messes. Literal messes. Like, how Sookie blew Debbie Pelt's face all over her kitchen, or how Tara's brain is all over the place, or how Lafayette stabbed his boyfriend to death roughly ten minutes before all that happened. Pam shows up out of nowhere to be bitchy about Eric, and Sookie makes a deal with her to turn Tara into a vampire. So that's Sookie's day. Mopping, sitting by a gravesite all night, and eventually being attacked by her newly vampire best friend, who would seem to have come back a good bit more feral than most.

I don't know how to feel about that. I don't know what it says that the most intelligent, verbal character on the entire show has come back from the dead ****tarded. My fear is that it's emblematic of the show in general, which would also seem to have come back from hiatus a good deal more ****tarded than even in previous years. I know what it's like when I overstay my welcome with a show, and hang onto it out of habit, so I want to give you plenty of warning about the facts, which are that maybe this show sucks now? Or I am just in a ****ty mood, and let what just happened to be a remarkably crummy script ruin the whole experience.

Like oh boy are you going to hate this girl Nora, who is Godric's Progeny and thus Eric's vampire sister -- although they also ****, and while they're ****ing they call each other brother and sister, it's all quite droll -- and I think she was invented to get on your nerves. Like scientists in a lab could not have designed a more off-putting person. Zooey Deschanel working in an ire-magnet store could attract less ire.

SHARE IT ON: