'True Blood' recap: My Other Broom Is A Car

true-blood-paquin-moyer-skarsgard.jpgOutside the MoonGoddess Emporium, Eric and Bill whine about their daughters castigating them for being Sookie-whipped -- but then offer to commit suicide in order to save her from the hostage situation going on inside. It's not played for laughs, but it sure is stupid. That was the most ****ed up part of the whole thing, I think, besides that meshuga fire circle and the amazing twists and turns of plot. The witches do a bunch more dumb ****, like even when Marntonia just starts randomly stabbing people, they still don't seem to understand that she is bad news. Maybe they are confused because she is stabbing them with magic, but it's still pretty noteworthy.

Because Marnie did some kind of spell that means Antonia can't leave no matter how crazy she gets, Lala and Jesus take the witch corpse into the bathroom and do some kind of really bad magic that makes the demon face of Jesus blow fire out of it. Out of his face! It's scary. Meanwhile, less scary: Fake-looking ****ty CGI fire in a circle around Sookie that makes her cry and scream and everybody worries about her some more. Oh, and Tara calls stupid Roy an Uncle Tom, which made me laugh a little bit.

In the end, Lala and Jesus help Antonia desert the sinking ship that is Marnie, invalidating all of her/their spells and letting the vampires in so they can murder the **** out of Roy, and then shoot Marnie fulla holes. That part was pretty awesome, but not as awesome as -- later that night -- Lafayette holding Jesus's hand through some PTSD stuff and then opening his eyes to find Ghost Marnie floating up there, ready to take over his body!


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