'True Blood' recap: ...Or Are We Bellydancer?

true-blood-season-5.jpgWell, our hopes for an epic three-episode human/vampire war seem to be getting themselves in a row: Both the ifrit and the Dragon storylines seem pretty wrapped up, the werewolves and faeries are both involved in the vampire plot now, and the Stackhouses are no closer to finding out who killed their parents. Another dodgy transition episode at least managed to get that done with a minimum of downtime, and the introduction of at least two cult-beloved actors (Robert Patrick and Keram Malicki-Sánchez, a personal fave).

The episode starts wonderfully, with a hilarious teamup between Lafayette and Sookie to figure out why she's getting great big ghosty vampire heads in her bathroom. A short Whoopi Goldberg outtake later, Gran's managed to present them with just enough clues to this "Warlow" vampire to put Sookie in, you guessed it, terrible danger.

Sookie heads to Bud Dearborn's to find out more about her parents' death, and is ambushed by the Dragon herself, his gross hot tub girlfriend Sweetie Des Arts from a minute ago. Why she hates the various soup varieties is funny in a classist John Waters way, if not all that interesting -- although the rest of Bon Temps is now just calling her crew The Obamas, which is funny but saps even more meaning from her motivations -- but in the end, Sam and Luna help Andy and Jason take them out. So that's one storyline: Psycho Racist Bud is officially a worse Sherriff than Andy, which makes him happy.

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