'Two and a Half Men': Charlie Sheen vs. Chuck Lorre, round 83
Sheen obliged Thursday night (April 28) with a scathing letter sent to TMZ in which he calls Lorre, among other things, a "sad silly fool," an "A-hole p***y loser" and a "spineless rat."
"The ratings right now are not a fluke," Sheen writes. "It's a big fat mess. A 2.0 demo? That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You've been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it."
There's more of that -- really, it's mostly a restatement of stuff Sheen has said a bunch of times before about his former boss. It's also pretty much exactly not the way to get your job back, as Sheen has occasionally said he wants to do.
Lorre, for his part, took what reads like an oblique swipe at Sheen via his latest vanity card. At the end of Thursday's "Big Bang Theory," which featured a smoking monkey in one scene, Lorre offered up the following:
"Thanks to the magic of computer graphics, the monkey in tonight's episode was not actually smoking a cigarette, nor was he ever exposed to secondhand smoke. At all times, every effort was made to make the monkey feel happy and safe. Nevertheless, he proved impossible to work with. During the week of production his behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse. It wasn't until after we finished filming his scenes that we learned why. The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back. Thankfully, an intervention was staged by the Geico lizard and he is now going through detox and a twelve step program at the Bonzo Center in Palm Springs. Everyone at 'The Big Bang Theory' wishes him well."
CBS will unveil its 2011-12 schedule in 19 days, and presumably at that time will explain what's happening with "Two and a Half Men." Which will probably do very little to end the back-and-forth sniping.